Before the dawn
by Anne-Hime
Summary: Ayanna is a normal teenager. She lives the same drama, goes through the same existential crisis as the rest of her age. However, there is someone who will change her vision over life giving it a whole other perspective no one really expects.
1. Prologue

**Hello there lovely ones. **

** So this is the first story I write in English and I decided to share it with everyone. **

**To tell you a bit about it...Well all I have to say is that it's definitely a bit twisted and like out of this world but since I used some myths and paranormal things into it I guess that's okay. It's going to be full of twists and turns. A friendly advice for all of those reading would be that you should just read it and don't make any assumptions because if you do, you might not be close to what it really is. **

**That being said, I'll stop rambling for now and allow you to read the intro.**

** Disclaimer: The characters mostly belong to me but some facts and occurrences do not being based on some myths/beliefs.**

**Enjoy! xx **

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><p>Prologue<p>

When I was eighteen, my life changed completely. Every belief that I had was insignificant compared to what I found out about me. Many people are sceptical about it and they would ask  
>"What can happen in a teens life and be so significant that changes everything, changes her inside and out?"<br>I don't know if I can explain it right. You'll think I read too much science fiction or watched too many movies. Either that or you'll think that I'm completely insane. I won't blame you. Even I thought at some point that I've gone round the bend. Even now I'm having problems with believing in it. I still think that I'm having a nightmare and when I'll wake up everything will be normal; it will seem that everything that happened was just a fruit of my subconscious that wanted to torture me with strange and hard to understand dreams. Well, I'm saying that it's a nightmare because I just want to live my life as normal as possible, forgetting everything, forgetting what or rather who I really am.  
>Three years have passed since that incident changed my life, flipped my whole world upside down and gave me a different view on life. Since that moment, I hate every sunrise because with every sunrise comes another day of torture for me, another day in which I have to deal with my inner duality.<br>Every day when I look into the mirror, I'm telling myself:  
>"I'm Ayanna Pierce and I'm studying Psychology", trying to reject any other reality than this one.<br>Only, there's more to it. Inside me, two parts coexist: the "me" that I am now and the "other me" and it's not about good and evil, it's much more than that. That other part wants to consume me gradually, trying to make me be this other person I don't know and don't want to know. That is why I'm ignoring it, pretending it doesn't exist like the way it used to be before I found out about its existence.  
>You're probably wondering what I'm babbling about here, right? Well, I'm going to tell you the whole story from the beginning until its very end and I'll try to not let anything out. I can't promise it's a happy story with a very happy ending, but there are certainly good parts in it. Don't feel joy about any part of it though. Nothing is what it seems and I don't know how many of the following prove to be for the best. You might feel joy, fury, resentment, betrayal, doubt, a lot of mystery, even love and not exactly in this order. Enjoy every part of it. Embrace every feeling like your own. But be careful not to feel joy. You might regret it when the story ends. I warned you.<p> 


	2. Chapter I

**Here is a bonus. The first chapter. Welcome into Ayanna's world. **

**Enjoy. xx **

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><p>I.<br>It's almost midnight. I'm shivering from the cold or maybe there is another reason. It's full moon tonight and you can expect anything on a night like this. It is as if a supernatural force is waiting to unleash its whole power and destroy everything in its path. Usually, a girl shouldn't walk on the street at this late hour, but here I am, barefoot, walking on the wet pitch. Thank God it rained when I was still at my friend's house. She threw a party, celebrating our last year of high school and of course, trying to gather everyone to spend our time as a senior. As we expected, not everyone was present, but the ones that were there had the best time of our lives. She knows how to throw a killer party.  
>After the party, I called my mom to come and pick me up, but as usual, she had something to do. " I have scheduled an important meeting with one of our important clients and I can't cancel it again for your whims. Work that out on your own." She said. I always work things out on my own. My father died three years after I was born. Maybe he had a heart-attack because of my mother. Just kidding. I never found out why he died or the reason why any picture or any reminder is non-existent or well-hidden. I don't blame her for his death because I know she suffered enough but I really don't understand her behavior.<br>Anyway, right now I should probably concentrate on getting home safe and sound. Weird. It's too quiet. If I would be on the right path, a car or two should pass through from time to time. Oh, no. I think I'm lost. I don't even know where I am or what street is this. Maybe I should have accepted my friend's offer to go home with her and her boyfriend, but I didn't want to be the third wheel. How am I going to get out of this? I would call my mother again or some friend, but what am I going to say? "I'm on an unknown street, I'm freezing and I want to go home" doesn't sound too good, does it? What am I going to do now?  
>Oh, no. Typical for my luck. A group of drug addicts. The last thing I needed. Don't look my way, Don't look my way.<br>"Sugar, do you have a lighter?", said one of those guys.  
>Maybe if I ignore them, they would let me be. Yeah, that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to keep walking. I get now why they noticed me. I'm tired, barefoot and inappropriately dressed. I look just like them. I knew that it was a very bad idea to wear a pair of tights and a maxi T-shirt. It's really not my style. It seems I got rid of them. I felt relieved but not for long.<br>"Hey, sugar." Said another guy I just bumped into, like he came right out of nowhere. "Going somewhere?" he asked in a sweet seductive voice.  
>"Leave me alone" I said my voice a bit hoarse and tried to escape from his arms.<br>"I mean you no harm. Stay still. It will only take a minute, if you cooperate."  
>I was still trying to escape from his arms and I started screaming, when on the other side of the street I heard some tires squeak, sign that a car has stopped. I was afraid to look and see who is it. Maybe it's another one of them. Or maybe not. I realized that when the guy that was holding me let me go and took some steps back. I had to look at the mysterious guy or girl that got out of the car and scared the shit out of the guys that "meant me no harm". I couldn't see his face clearly, but I could distinguish the outline of the body. His body was perfectly proportional and you could see that he spend some quality time in the gym. He crossed the street and I was still not able to move or speak. He wasn't going in their direction, as I expected. He was coming towards me. I froze in place, waiting to see what he's up to. He approached me and he whispered:<br>"Like a good girl you are, you're going to cross the street, get in the car and wait for me there"  
>I nodded and I started walking towards the car without looking back. I had a shiver on my spine because of his strong, but soft and velvety voice. My heart was beating so fast, not out of fear as it should or as any normal human being would react, but because of this mysterious guy. I know that I'm not normal, I never was, but to have this kind of reaction because of some guy in this kind of circumstances, never. Never say never. I opened the passenger door and I got in the car without hesitation. In this moment, any conviction I had meant nothing. I wonder where the rule "Never get in the car of someone you don't know and never in the front seat." But here I am, in the passenger's seat in a stranger's car. I think I'm losing my mind. Instead of thinking about right and wrong like I always do, I looked across the street at my savior and those three guys. They were talking about something and I would give anything to have some supernatural power to hear what they're talking about. At some point, my savior hands them some money, then turns his back on them and starts walking back to the car. I started shaking, either it was because I was cold, since my feet were freezing because I walked barefoot on wet pavement, either it was nervousness, I can't figure it out. I watched him from the corner of my eye as he got in the car, closed the door, put his seatbelt on and the keys in the ignition. I refused to look straight at him. I didn't want to be put in an awkward situation of being caught staring. He started the engine and turned on the heat. After a few moments of silence, in which I was listening to the sound made by the engine that was purring exactly like an angry kitten while the car was still not moving and I was trying to calm down, my savior broke the silence:<br>"Are you all right?"  
>"I don't know. I suppose I am, more or less. Thank you."<br>"For what?" He seemed bewildered.  
>"Um," I was starting to babble, "for saving me. Bad things would have happened to me if you wouldn't have come. Maybe I would have been raped or being carried who knows where..." I trailed off.<br>"It seems that you are very lucky" he said, trying to avoid the subject. "Tell me. What is a girl like you doing on side-street at this hour, barefoot? I don't mean to be rude, I'm just curious"  
>"Well, I was trying to find my way home. I decided to walk because I don't own a fancy car" I said meaningfully because he owned one "and at this late hour there's no way I can find a bus or anything, but it seems I got lost... And also, there is a reason for being barefoot. I went to a party," I continued before he asked me something..I would have lost my train of thought if I would have heard his voice."That's where I'm coming from and you try and walk on these and not make noise."<br>That's the most weird thing I ever done. I complained about high-heels to a guy, a stranger and even showed him the reason of my problems. He probably thinks I'm insane.  
>"Oh," he said, a little surprised by my logic, "a little too difficult, is it not?"<br>I laughed ironically. That was my brilliant response. Oh, I'm losing my temper. I took a deep breath to calm down.  
>"My name is Ayanna, by the way"<br>"I'm Flavio, nice to meet you. You have a beautiful name. I think it comes from Hindi and means innocent. I suppose it describes you."  
>"Wow, how come you know that?"<br>"I studied something about names etymology." He took the question in a completely different way. "We'll talk about it some other time. Tell me, where to? "  
>"You're talking like a taxi driver. It would be good if I got home eventually but I don't have any money to pay you..."<br>"Oh, I don't want money. You'll reward me some other time with something else. A date would be perfect."  
>"I see. How do you suppose we'll get in touch with each other?"<br>"Silly," he said in a teasing tone, "I'll know where you live or do you want me to drop you somewhere near by?"  
>"Somewhere near by would be nice. You know, I follow rules," I said.<br>"Rules? You don't seem like that type of girl," he said, skeptical.  
>"Not any rules, my rules." He's starting to get on my nerves. He only knows me for five minutes and I'm already answering to all his questions. It's something weird about him. He laughed. That's too much. He's laughing at me.<br>"Did I say something funny?" I said, raising one eyebrow.  
>"No," and he became serious, concentrating on the road. I gave him the directions to get me close to home, though I am sure he will follow me.<br>He became very quiet after that. He seemed to think intense about something because he his eyebrows knit together and the road seemed like he sees through it. I wondered what is he thinking about and I really wanted to ask, but I would be sort of weird. I tried to concentrate on something else.  
>Though it was night, there was enough light from the poles on the road for me to distinguish his features. His hair was blond with some darker strands and each strand seemed meticulously arranged and fixed with gel. I couldn't see the color of his eyes too clearly but I think they have beautiful blue tint which reminded me of the color of the sea in the sun, in spring. Although I was curious to retain other details, I couldn't move my eyes from his face. I made an effort to see what he was wearing though. He has some dark jeans ripped from place to place, a V-neck shirt and a black sweatshirt. His face eclipsed everything else, so it doesn't matter what he's wearing; he'll look good anyway. Flavio seemed to be aware of my short analyze, but he didn't take his eyes off the road. Driver with a conscience, no doubt.<br>After analyzing my savior, I turned to look out the window, trying to distinguish shapes in the night but it was in vain. Everything was foggy. Now that I was free to think, without being questioned or threatened I realized that I was actually very comfortable in the beige leather seat of his car. I was warm. The shaking stopped long ago and my feet were already dry.  
>I must have fallen asleep because I didn't realize that the car has stopped. Flavio shook me slightly telling me that we reached the place that I indicated. I looked out the window and the area did seem familiar. Home sweet home. I turned to face him to thank him for everything, but when I saw his face I remembered someone. Instead of thanking him, I said:<br>"You know, you remind me of someone or maybe we've met before" I looked at him waiting for him to react in any way but he seemed to be caught in his own thoughts.  
>"Maybe" he said, indifferent and absent. He changed his behavior. Did I do something or said something? I shook my head to clear it from other thoughts. It seems so silly to worry for a stranger. Of course, I'm grateful that he saved me and all that but that's it. I decided to ignore this strange behaviour of his and said in the same tone he used:<br>"Thank you for everything, Flavio." I saw him shivering when I said his name. I ignored that and continued: "Good night and be careful." I opened my door but before I got out, I stopped because I heard him calling my name, my head turning automatically in his direction.  
>"Ayanna"<br>"Yes?" He was staring deep into my eyes and I had to turn around before I'll start hyperventilating.  
>After a short pause, he said: "I hope you'll have very sweet dreams tonight. Take care of yourself and stay out of trouble. I don't know if I would be there to save you next time."<br>"Don't worry, I'm not that type," I said, ironic. "Thank you again"  
>I got out of the car and slammed the door maybe too hard because I got startled by the sound and kept walking. From the corner of my eye I saw his car speeding. He was rushing, I wonder where? Oh, Ayanna, stop this morbid curiosity for the stranger. Time to go home.<br>After five minutes I was standing in front of my door. I didn't linger there for long. I searched for my keys in my little purse that I was caring and opened the door. I locked the door as soon as I was in, as I always do.  
>"Mom?" I called out into the empty hall. "Mom, I'm home" No answer. My mom isn't home yet.<br>I decided to take a shower, though I was very tired. Hot water will help me relax and let everything that happened today settle. I let the water run longer than needed, so I decided that my skin is wrinkled enough and if I stay any longer I might fall asleep in the tub.  
>I quickly wiped with a towel the drops of water from my skin, dried my hair with hair dryer, I put on my favorite pyjamas and went to my room. The house seemed extremely empty and too quiet so I let classic music from my CD- player fill the house. I went to bed and was already halfway asleep when I suddenly realized of whom Flavio reminded me. My first love. Robert.<p>

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><p><strong>So that was it for today. The first 4 Chapters are already done and the 5th is in progress. <strong>

**I would very much appreciate it if you will let me know what you think by reviewing it. **

**Thank you in advance. **

**Much love,**

**Anne xx **


	3. Chapter II

_ "In another life _  
><em>I would be your girl <em>  
><em>We keep all our promises <em>  
><em>Be us against the world <em>

_In another life _  
><em>I would make you stay <em>  
><em>So I don't have to say <em>  
><em>You were the one that got away <em>  
><em>The one that got away"<em>

_- **Katy Perry - The One That Got Away **_

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><p>II.<br>I woke up pretty excited with a large smile playing on my lips even though I didn't sleep so well. I had nightmares. I was entirely grateful that a genius has invented dream catchers. I don't remember a thing from all the stupid things I must have dreamed of last night. Not only the nightmares bothered me. I could hardly fell asleep so I let old memories fill my mind even though it was the last thing I should have done. I let them wonder freely through all my being. Robert. Every memory with him is still vivid even though he died two years ago. I shudder every and each time I remember he's no longer here in the same world with me. I can't get my head around this concept yet. I remembered everything, from the beginning. I was a freshman when I met him. Our relationship lasted about seven months and it was beautiful, it felt real. What I really don't want to remember though is how we broke up. I keep avoiding thinking about that but he insists on torturing me each and every time. It was a chilly day in March. I was sitting in the garage with Robert warming myself up with a cup of hot chocolate he made. Even though he insisted on me going home because it was going to be boring I stayed. I loved watching him work. He was fixing a friend's bike. I could never understand anything about cars or other vehicles. He tried to explain but I still didn't get anything. As I was watching his skillful hands I remembered something and the smile I had on my face faded. Erica, my classmate told me something and it kept bugging me. "Robert is not perfect. He will cheat on you. If you ask me, he's already into someone else but he's too much of a gentleman to tell you. I'm just doing you a favor as your friend. A piece of advice: be careful." She said.  
>I don't know why I even believed her; she was a lot of things but not a friend. At some point he sent me to get something from his car. When I got in to search for whatever it was that he asked for and was supposed to be in the clove compartment, I smelled a woman's perfume, sickly sweet the type I never use and lipstick marks on the seat cover and I surely don't use lipstick, only gloss. That's when everything Erica said made sense and I blindly believed her not knowing that all this was her game. She wanted to make me suffer. Her revenge. She hated me for some stupid reason I don't even remember. As a consequence I went back to where he was without the object he asked me for and in a very bad mood.<br>I asked him to explain all that but he told me calmly that he has nothing to say about it. Then I told him what I know and from whom and that's when he snapped. He started screaming, thing he never did before, his eyes looked like he could kill with only one stare. Harsh words bounced back and forth for some time then he said he's had enough of my insecurities. He took his car and left, leaving me there, staring. I wish I stopped him. A few minutes after he left, my phone rang. It was Viviana and she wanted to tell me that she's heard Erica brag about what she did and that she did it to break us apart.  
>I was mad at myself because I was so naive and thanks to that her plan was a complete success. Then I felt guilty...I called Rob but he didn't answer. I called him like thirty times and he didn't pick up, not even once. I kept ringing and when I finally thought he picked up it was actually a policeman telling me that the owner of that number had an accident and died. I froze with the phone in my hand. It was all my fault. I killed him. I killed Robert.<br>"Ayanna?"  
>I was brought back in the present day by my mom. As I didn't answer when she called my name she eventually burst into my room.<br>"Ayanna, when I call you I'm expecting you to answer. Do you plan to lie in bed all day?"  
>"I don't know, maybe" I muttered.<br>"Don't talk to me like that. Don't you have homework?"  
>"I probably do" I answered keeping the same tone as before.<br>"Ayanna, I'm struggling to give you the proper education, a better way of life and you-  
>"Don't mom. Not today, okay?" I cut her off. She was right most of the time but today was not the time for her lectures. If I would have allowed her to go on she will lecture me and say she is working over the working hours just to offer me everything I need and I am ungrateful. "I promise I'll do my homework but please momma, leave me alone."<br>"Fine, Ayanna. I will not drag you out of the bed nor beg you. I am going to work. I will check out on you when I'll get back." She said on a harsh and authoritarian tone.  
>"Yeah, mom, I know that's what you'll do." I muttered.<br>She left slamming the door. She's mad at me. Again. Sometimes I hate being the kind of rebel teenager. It's illogical to behave like that but even though I know that I can't seem to help myself. Human mind is complicated and what you do isn't always in sync with your thoughts I suppose. I was perfectly aware that right now I had to get up, go eat something and then do my homework but here I was laying in bed, not really being in the mood to do that. Instead I was watching the noon sun rays and I was thinking…what if…or rather can you use a sun ray as a slide. Would it hold my weight? Would it be too hot? Would it hurt when I'll touch the ground? 'Oh, silly' said a voice inside my head 'there is no way you can do that.' Oh well, yeah, but a girl can dream right?  
>I climbed out of bed eventually moving lazily, made my bed and left the room. Again, the house is ridiculously empty. I don't get why mum had to work today. It's weekend. I entered the kitchen, turned on the tv and sat on the table just flipping through the channels looking for something to watch. Nothing hold my attention for more than two seconds though as nothing was interesting enough. I turned off the tv, stood up and got back into my room. I went straight to the closet, grabbed the first clothes that came into my hand and changed myself not caring much if they match or not.<br>It's way too beautiful outside and it was a waste to stay here and do homework. I know me and I know that before mum will be home they'll be done anyway so I can spare a few hours to enjoy the day and take a walk. It's Sunday – the day before Monday – I hate Mondays. Besides people should relax before starting a new week right? I took the same purse I wore yesterday, my phone and then putting on some comfy shoes I left the house. Being by myself kills me. I need to be around people. I would call my friends but I don't think I'm in the mood for the usual teen drama or hearing them say 'Did you hear what Who-knows-who just did?' or 'You're going to flip when you'll see what I saw in a magazine at the mall and everything is on sale!' Like I said, drama. Maybe too much for me. It seems that I wasn't in the mood for my usual behavior today. I wonder what caused the change. Yesterday I was still 'me' the 'me' I always knew. Oh yes, I met someone new yesterday. Someone named Flavio. He must be the reason. In fact, I'm just lying to myself. It wasn't the feeling of being alone that bothered me in the first place so I didn't get out of the house because of that. Being alone never bothered me. I just hoped I would see the mysterious guy that saved me yesterday. I want to find out more about him. I want to find out why he reminded me of Robert. They were nothing alike. At least not physically. Robert was dark haired, his eyes were brown and his hair was always a mess. Still there was something in the way Flavio looked at me that made me feel the same things I did when Robert was looking at me. Same look in his eyes when he was deep in thought like Flavio was last night. I used to joke Rob around when he was so lost in his thoughts – I would tell him 'If you're falling deep in thought like this you will damage your brain and it will be irreversible.' But he didn't find that funny. Not at all. He kept that same profound look in his eyes like you're going to fall into an abyss most likely and sometimes that look was almost…deadly. I guess that was the same thing that drew me in yesterday when I was with Flavio. Same look, though in his eyes that had the colour of the sea it didn't have the same intensity but it was still deadly. I stopped in my tracks because I was literally lost again. I fell deep in thought myself that I didn't seem aware where I was heading. Okay there was a difference from yesterday though – I knew the street like I was reading it from a map so I continued walking sighing in relief. I was perfectly awake, more awake than I've been in months or maybe years and I knew where I was but even so I couldn't quite concentrate on the outside world. Something weird is happening. Before I could figure out what that was I was startled by a honk coming from behind me. I didn't turn. I don't usually pay attention to these kind of people but that someone…whoever he was…he kept honking making that annoying sound that made my ears bleed. I was prepared to turn around and tell him something that won't sound too good but the words got stuck in my throat when I turned around. The person standing behind the wheel was the same person I hoped I could see. Flavio. He stopped right in front of me, climbed out of the car and walked a little to bring himself closer to me so we could have a civil conversation without needing to shout. I was unable to speak though. The words were still stuck in my throat.  
>"Hello, Ayanna." He said smiling. Oh, that…smile. He had that kind of beautifully dazzling smile that almost made you smile too. "I didn't expect to see you so soon. I was just passing by when I saw you and I decided to stop by and say hi."<br>"Can you tell me how do you do that?" I said, finally after swallowing the lump in my throat.  
>"How do I do what exactly?" He asked, still smiling.<br>"Um…Just…appear. Out of nowhere. I was meditating and trying to figure something out and your honk made me lose my train of thought. Thank you very much." I was ironic. I should have been happy to see him but I'm behaving like this. Ayanna, you little idiot, you will scare him away. Oh well if I'm myself and he runs scared so shall be it then.  
>"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. Is not like I'm stalking you or something. Like I said, I was just passing by."<br>"Okay, apology accepted." I said. I was pathetic. I took a deep breath to calm myself down. Nothing was working the way it was supposed to and my reactions weren't exactly normal. The outsiders might perceive me as nuts. Like I care what they think…  
>"So tell me. Did you sleep well? I hope you didn't have any nightmares." He said suddenly pulling me out of my thoughts again. He seemed to be really concerned about it and then he's trying to make conversation like he knows me for month when we just met last night. Weird.<br>"I slept very well, thank you." I lied smoothly. What could I have told him? That all I remembered from my dream was actually a very weird nightmare in which he and Rob were the same person? Not a very good idea. "What did you do last night?" I said trying to change the subject. He didn't get to answer that question because there was a sound made by my stomach. I felt the blood rushing in my cheeks and they were on fire. I knew it wouldn't be too good to leave the house when you didn't eat. He laughed at me.  
>"It seems someone didn't eat properly today. Come. I'll get you somewhere where you can eat and we could continue with our discussion there." He said, smiling. I nodded.<br>I allowed myself to be in his hands again. There is something strange happening to me. I don't usually allow myself to depend on other..not since that happened but with him I felt…safe and above all, happy somehow. He turned to walk back to the car and I just stood there watching him. For the first time though I got a look at his car. I moved my glance from hi to the car. It was a Volvo who-knows-what model. I don't know much about cars. If the logo up-front didn't say it was a Volvo I wouldn't have known – to me every car is just a car. His car had this unusual colour - grayish blue. It was somehow familiar to me though. I could tell where I saw it before only it was a BMW. I followed Flavio again with my eyes and he wasn't heading for the driver's seat. Instead he was heading to the passenger's door and opened it. At first I thought he will want me to drive and I was prepared to protest telling him I didn't have a driver's license yet but I saw him standing there and I realized he was waiting for me to climb in. Such a gentleman. I felt a smile on my lips even though I didn't really feel it for some reason. This reminded me of someone and not any someone. I started walking almost robotically towards Flavio. I didn't want to make him wait because I had trouble in my heart. I climbed in and he closed the door. I kept the same attitude as yesterday. I watched him with the corned of my eye as he climbed it. I wanted to keep my head clear. After he climbed it, he buckled his seatbelt, got the keys in ignition and he looked straight ahead. He didn't start the car yet. Instead he addressed to me.  
>"Perhaps you should put your seatbelt on. I don't want any trouble."<br>"Okay." I said and I did as he instructed. "Uh, can I ask where we're going though?" Suddenly I was beginning to worry. Okay, nothing in life cannot be done without a risk but I was risking a lot. I wanted to know him all right but can I trust him?  
>"Don't worry." He said turning to face me and with his index finger he was straightening the frown that was formed between my brows. "You're safe with me. I'm taking you to a restaurant. You don't expect to eat in the middle of the street now do you?"<br>I smiled. I must admit I liked the idea. Then well he seemed to be honest with me and he did tell me where we were going. He could have avoided to answer but he didn't so if this isn't a proof that we can trust him, I have no idea what is. He started up the car without saying anything else. We drove in silence for some time and then I decided I'm not going to know anything about him if I don't get him to talk. I hate to drag the words out of his mouth but in this case I didn't have a choice. I hat do. My curiosity for my savior was hard to be quenched and that will help me ask the questions. I'm surprised he didn't have the need to ask me anything. Is it that maybe he didn't want to get to know me?  
>"So" I began determined to make him talk more about him. "are you here in town for a long time?"<br>"No. I just moved recently. I lived into a bigger town and very crowded, in South Bridge and I decided that it's better for my sake to choose a smaller and quieter town like this one."  
>"Why would you choose a little town in which everyone knows everyone and you're a subject of discussion at the slightest mistake you make…" I said skeptical. I didn't understand his way of thinking. At all.<br>"Sounds funny, isn't it? I'd much rather prefer to be known by everyone than lost and be no one in a claustrophobic world full of concrete and a lot of people. Besides I didn't find what I was looking for but it seems that I'm getting lucky here."  
>I didn't understand a thing from what he was saying right now although something tells me it was something very obvious. Hmm, was it somehow related to me? I swallowed the lump in my throat and continued speaking:<br>"Oh and what is it that you were looking for exactly?" I asked avoiding to make assumptions. I preferred to hear him say it.  
>"I was looking for someone, but now I found her. Now the real reason why I'm here can be accomplished."<br>"You know, I don't understand a thing…." I confessed. I was being maybe too sincere but I really didn't understand.  
>"Oh, don't be curious. You'll find out at the right time. You can't know too much yet. For now I'm counting on the fact that you don't understand a thing from what I'm saying though I think you're smarter than you want people to believe. I want to post-pone the moment of the truth."<br>"Oh, I see. You're taking advantage of my naivety and innocence." Now I understand the reference to name etymology. "Fine, however you want. I won't ask any more question. I will only expect your answers." I hope they will come sooner rather than later, I added in my head.  
>"Thank you for understanding me." He said.<br>I was surprised at the way he said it. He was so serious about all of it. He was obviously hiding something from me and he wasn't afraid to show that. Oh I hate it when people are playing with me that stupid game 'guess what'. Like I needed any of that.  
>I decided to change the subject suddenly, maybe this will bring him out of the shell even more.<br>"So why did you choose Stone Creek? What drew you in?" I asked. I still couldn't understand people's attraction for small and trivial towns.  
>"I heard a lot about this place and I wanted to check and see if it's true. For example," he went on surprisingly. Maybe the question 'What can you hear about a small town and be so interesting?' was pretty obvious on my face. "the architecture. Being a small town I was surprised they invested in this kind of stuff."<br>"Probably they did that to draw people in." I said sarcastically.  
>"Probably." He agreed.<br>Again. Silence. It was getting boring to have this kind of conversations. I glanced at my watch to check what time it was and I realized time flies by real quick and real soon I will get separated from my savior once again and I still don't know that much about him - the man that I owe my life to right now. Suddenly something clicked in my head.  
>"So what car is it that you're driving?" I asked.<br>"A Volvo" He answered simply.  
>"What model?" I pressed. I was a little anxious. I had to push it a little for us to really have a conversation which I didn't really like. Is it that I really can't make him tell me something about himself, something that doesn't sound…scary?<br>"It's an S40. It's not much, I mean is not fancy and flashy and all but it's pretty handy" He answered calmly. It doesn't work as I thought it will I mean I thought guys get excited when you bring up one of the subjects in which they're experts or something and especially if that subject includes talking about a car. I was wrong. It seems that he's a special case.  
>I didn't dare say anything else the rest of the way. I was afraid that if I ask any more question the answers won't be pretty at all. On the contrary, they might get even more scary. It was enough information to deal with up until now. I knew there was some things he didn't want to talk about and what you don't know can certainly hurt you so I decided to keep my mouth shut before I become any more interested in the guy that will probably rip my heart out and leave me bleeding. That will probably be too late though – the first part anyway. Viviana always used to say that I'm as easy to read as an open book but I never believed her. Isn't he curious about me at all? Then something came to me. Either I was going nuts or Robert and Flavio really did have something in common. Neither Robert liked to talk while he was driving. He used to say that talking is rather distracting and he didn't want anything to happen to me as in if he lost control over the car or something. He was making an exception with the cell phone but when I wasn't with him. I shook the thought away. Even though it's been two years already I never succeeded in getting over Robert. There are things left unsolved between us but it's too late for that now. Still, I could never be the same. Get back on my feet and start something new. Fresh. I'm completely overwhelmed and consumed by guilt and I could never let anyone in. Actually, Flavio is the first guy I was going out with since…the accident.<br>I looked out the window allowing this to sink in. I'm wondering if is it really wise whatever is it that I'm doing right now. Is it okay for me to move on? That doesn't mean I'll forget Robert completely now right? It's not like I'm erasing everything, every memory with him and I will get over my guilt. No, it's not that. Forbidden to remember but also terrified to forget. That memory brings along awful feelings that I won't wish anyone to feel, not even my worst enemy. There is an excruciating pain in my chest…like the air is knocked out and my vision was blurred. I rolled down the window to calm myself. The cold air hit my face and I took a deep breath. That calmed me a little. I wanted to take another deep breath and fill my lungs with air but the window was rolled up once again and the cold fresh air was gone. I looked to Flavio for an explanation but he was focused on the road. Okay. I gather I'm not allowed to keep the window rolled down but he should have said so. I get it it's his car and his rules but still. I sunk into my seat and crossed my arms at my chest. I was actually behaving like a 5 year old all huffing and pouting. I didn't usually behave like that. Everything changed in just 24 hours. I don't even know what made me act like this actually so I relaxed my stance hoping he didn't notice. I peeked at him and he was still focused on the road. That was when I realized that actually the car was slowing down and he was looking for a parking spot. We reached the restaurant he told me about. The car stopped. Flavio unbuckled his seatbelt and climbed out of the car. I was a little slow. I unbuckled my seatbelt too but when I was about to open my door Flavio already did that for me. I climbed out and he closed it behind me then locked the car. He pointed in the direction of the main entrance of the restaurant and he suggested silently to go ahead. I nodded and started walking. When I reached the restaurant I stopped at the end of the stairs to take the place in. It wasn't too fancy. The exterior of the building was rather picturesque, the walls padded with pieces of wood painted in a color like cognac brown and varnished. The windows were simple made of the same type of wood and doubled. My eyes stopped on the wooden sign right above the entrance on which it was carved and painted in bloody red the name of the restaurant – Red Garden.

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><p><strong> So here is the second chapter. <strong>

**It's full and twists and turns and you might not understand many things but I promise all will be explained. All in good time.**

**Goodbye for now and hope you enjoyed. **

**Anne xx **


	4. Chapter III

_ "Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like." _  
><em> — Lemony Snicket<em>

**Here is the third chapter of this pretty twisted little story.**

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><p>III.<p>

I was still glancing around the restaurant and I understood why it is called 'Red Garden'. On each side of the path that lead to the front door there were bloody red roses. My imagination was going wild. I had the sensation that off the rose's delicate petals there was blood dropping on the ground but it was just water from yesterday's rain. I shuddered. Perhaps this morning's meditation was to blame. I suddenly remembered I wasn't alone but in Flavio's company and I tried to calm down. I glanced around for him and I found him standing by the door, holding it open and waiting for me to snap out of it. I was captivated by my surroundings or maybe just caught up in my own thoughts. I was surprised he was so patient really patient with me though. Any other guy would have left already. But there he was, standing there, waiting for me. I shook my head to clear it and then I climbed the few steps, smiled at him apologetically because I made him wait for me for god knows how long and then we made our way into the restaurant. We stopped by the reception counter. There was a very beautiful blonde, in her forties maybe but she seemed younger, blue eyed and an hourglass body standing behind it. Something in my body flared up and suddenly she wasn't just an employee, she was my my competition, my rival. Problem is I couldn't compete with that. Compared to her I was dull. My hair was some sort of weird combination between reddish pigment and caramel and my eyes were brown. Completely normal and dull. Wait….Is it my imagination or am I jealous of this unknown lady because she might flirt with the guy I was with that wasn't even mine to begin with? Seriously, Ayanna, you're losing it. This isn't even a date. I shook my head to clear it again. That thing is impossible too because she can easily be his mother or something. Okay well maybe in our society the relationships between an older woman and a younger guy were accepted but I didn't think it was possible in this case for some reason.  
>The hostess looked at me from head to toe, analyzing me and looking at me as if our thoughts were on the same page. To be honest, I didn't care what she thought. Actually I was under the impression that her eyes were moving from me to him and back to me again. It was as if they were having some sort of silent dialogue communicating with their eyes and I was the subject. I wonder what was this all about but soon enough I decided it didn't matter and pushed it out of my mind. I reminded myself that I was the one that was with Flavio right now at a non-date-date and all the silent conversation I thought they were having was just my imagination going wild again. Still, I looked at him to see his reaction regarding to the lady that was trying hard to keep a composed face either for me or him. He was calm and apparently not moved by her beauty and not really interested altogether. His face was composed in a beautiful mask of ignorance. He addressed to her in a lower voice:<br>"We'd like a table for two. A quiet one if possible, please." He told her smiling with a dazzling smile.  
>"Of course." She answered a little in a daze. "Follow me."<br>The restaurant was bigger than I expected and well the decorations fit perfectly. You could swear to your life that this is a restaurant specific for a small town. There were various paintings on the white walls representing images of picturesque landscapes. It was poorly lit though. However the atmosphere was warm and fuzzy. Perhaps because of the colours. The colours contrasted nicely with the tables. They were in shades of cognac and the seats were upholstered in cognac-colored satin. After two rooms full of tables and a lot of people we finally arrived at our table. Flavio thanked the hostess and handed her a bill. We sat down and stood in silence waiting for a waiter or waitress to come. A few minutes later a young boy made his appearance.  
>"Good afternoon. Welcome to Red Garden. My name is David. I'm going to attend you tonight. Here are the menu's. Signal me when you're ready to order."<br>The waiter smiled at us and then he left leaving us decide. This was definitely a good restaurant and had very good service. I wondered if he had been here before since everyone seem to know him or maybe that's just the policy. I glanced at Flavio and I decided to break the ice.  
>"So…what would you like to order?"<br>"I don't know. I can't make up my mind between the spaghetti carbonara and sautéed mushrooms. What would you advise me?" He flashed a smile in my direction. I was dazzled for a moment.  
>"I would go for spaghetti carbonara." I said with a little shrug. Isn't this weird? These were Rob's favourites too. Someone upstairs wants to play games with me apparently.<br>"Okay then. I'll go with that. I'll have an apple juice with lemon too. How about you? What are you in the mood for?"  
>"Hmm…I don't have the faintest idea." Not really hungry, my stomach is already full even if I haven't eaten anything. It's easy to figure out why. "I think I'm gonna order a tuna salad and a lemonade." I wasn't in the mood for anything too…extravagant anyway. I have no idea what he wants to talk about because well the hints are obvious…the quiet table…and all. To be honest I didn't want to get sick.<br>Flavio signaled the waiter we're ready to order. After our order was taken and the waiter gone we were sitting in the same silence as before. It was getting odd. In a couple of minutes our drinks arrived. I sipped from my lemonade lustfully. I didn't realize I was actually that thirsty. Thirst is a sign of fear and anxiety. That's weird because I wasn't scared at all but I was a bit bewildered why Flavio wasn't making any move in any way but at the same time it intrigues me which isn't a good sign. Knowing me I will probably get water from dry rock and I'm still going to find out what's with this guy and what he's hiding. After half an hour or so the waiter brought us the food we ordered. I picked up my fork and I was trying to eat but I ended up playing with my salad rather than eating it. While we ate I was trying to think of a way to get rid of this silence that wasn't at all welcome between us. Flavio was far away… staring at nothing. Now that I think of it I don't want to make him talk only because I want to know more but also because I want to hear his voice. His beautiful and velvety voice. For the most part I don't mind the silence but when he's quiet like this I feel…other…let's call them vibrations between us and I don't want to feel. Too early for those and well it's useless. When Robert had died it was like someone took a sword and cut a part of me. That part of me died with him. The vibrations I feel between me and Flavio remind me of this… it's like I have an open scar and this is nibbling at its edge. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one that's following a strange pattern. Everybody else seems to handle it better than me…seems to be better than me at this battle with the idea of death and break-ups. My thoughts were interrupted by Flavio that finished eating and cleared his throat.  
>"Ayanna, you barely touched your food. Are you alright?" As that sunk in I realized I wasn't really eating. I took a few bites and I stopped with the fork in the air, being caught in the nightmare my brain is, but not totally absent at what's going on. "Ayanna?" He called my name again as I didn't answer. There was worry there in his voice. I snapped out of it.<br>"Yes, I'm fine. I was just…caught in my own thoughts I guess. Sorry." I admitted, a little embarrassed. It's amazing how open can I be with a stranger.  
>"It happens." He answered calmly and clearly relieved there was nothing wrong with me even though he didn't entirely buy it.<br>I knew I had to convince him that I was alright and actually have a conversation with him but I got distracted again.  
>"Robert!" a voice said from the table behind us. My head turned automatically in the direction of that suave voice that spoke the name. It was a woman in her thirties that called her child. Apparently from what I gathered from the scene in front of me, the kid had fallen behind and the mother couldn't find him. The child ran to his mother calling 'Mommy." and hugged her tightly his eyes full of tears. Mine were full of tears too but I wasn't crying. Not really. I was still watching the scene completely warmed all over and ignoring the fact that I was alone when Flavio shook me gentle to snap out of it.<br>"Ayanna, seriously now, what's wrong with you? You're as white as a ghost." It took me a while until I could speak and he continued to try and make me come to my senses. I stopped him, forcing a smile and reassuring him I'm okay.  
>"Oh, I'm fine, seriously. Excuse me, will you? I would like to go to the restroom." Truth is I just had to get out of here, just for a little while before he will get even more suspicious there is something wrong with me. I didn't want to explain this.<br>"Okay. Do you think you can manage?"  
>I rolled my eyes. "Yes, I know where the bathroom is." I said. I was just a little pale not completely unable to move.<br>I stood up and headed for the bathroom. I asked first because well truth to be told I didn't know where it was. The hostess indicated me a room next to the entrance. I went there and closed the door locking it behind me. It was just for one person but I took the liberty to stay here a few minutes not really caring that a row might form in front of the door. I needed to come to my senses. I turned the water on and let it run watching my face in the mirror. I didn't usually spend the time in front of the mirror making myself 'look better' with make-up. I preferred the natural look. I should have done that today. Maybe it might have made my face look better. I was really pale, the circles underneath my eyes were pretty visible and my eyes looked like I had something in them. I splashed my face with water hoping it will make me feel better then wiped it with a paper towel. I also pinched my cheeks for some color. Of course Flavio freaked out. I looked like some corpse from a horror movie. The name probably took me by surprise even though it shouldn't have. I mean seriously…he wasn't the only one with that name but well..hearing it always makes me remember him. I heard it a few times in the past two years and I flinch every time. This name is probably my own torture. Brought out from my personal hell to remind me of the guilt that hangs over my head. I turned the water off I glanced at my reflection once more and I decided to leave before I will be even more overwhelmed with thoughts and I might not be able to handle them. When I got out the fresh air coming from outside hit me and made me shudder too. I took a deep breath and returned to the table. He had his back on me so he couldn't see me coming and as a consequence he was startled a little. Probably he was caught in his own thoughts and my presence brought him to reality. Here I was thinking I was the only one doing that and now I realize I'm not. I took a deep breath again.  
>"Are you okay?" He asked impatiently.<br>"Yes. I already told you…I just needed a few minutes…you know…the call of the wild. When I returned though you seemed a little…lost. Is there something wrong?" I couldn't hold my tongue this time. I was way too curious. I hope he will give me something that will help me understand him.  
>"Yes…and…no." He paused. I waited for him to go on but he didn't. I was getting impatient.<br>"What's that supposed to mean?"  
>"I was wondering if it's okay for you to know the truth about…" he hesitated "Um…me…"<br>"Oh…" I said, a bit taken aback. "What am I supposed to know? Are you some sort of serial killer or something?"  
>"No." He said firmly and he shuddered. His reaction made it obvious he was telling the truth. That's what I though. I didn't think he was capable of killing someone. His deep blue eyes should have been tainted but they're not. They're as clear as water and sometimes you think you can see a whole other world in them.<br>"Drug dealer?" I tried again even though he didn't seem like the type of person to destroy other people's life with substances. Maybe dazzle them with his eyes…  
>"No, of course not." He stated. "Pedophilia doesn't attract me either." He chuckled but it didn't reach his eyes and the rest of his expression. He was way too serious. "You could have been more creative you know not inspire yourself out of movies and books." He added between chuckles.<br>"Then what can be worse than these? You can tell me you know. I won't run away. I'm strong and I can handle it. Whatever it is." I said all serious ignoring his attempt to make a joke out of this. I was surprised at my determination and how truthful my words sounded. Was I really sure that whatever is the truth I will stay?  
>"That's not what I'm worried about…" He sighed. "I'm afraid of how you will react. Earlier you-" he stopped midsentence and again he didn't go on. I tried to make him.<br>"What about earlier?"  
>"Um…" he paused. "It doesn't matter. We'll talk about it another time. It's getting late." He told me glancing at the clock. "I should probably get you home."<br>I didn't answer. His unfinished sentence got stuck into my mind. What about earlier? What was it that he saw? Did he realize that I reacted like that because of a name? I wanted to ask but I couldn't and I had a lump in my throat.  
>"Ayanna?"<br>"Uh, yeah, okay, we're going home." I finally agreed after a long pause. I had a lot of questions but suddenly I was afraid of the answers.  
>Flavio paid the check and then told me to go ahead and wait for him in the car. When I got out of the restaurant it was already so dark outside and it was also raining. There was a humid and foggy atmosphere. Instinctively I glanced at the rose garden again curious to see if it looked different in the darkness. In the dim light from the restaurant the roses looked pitch black and there was faint a bloody red color as if someone painted them with blood or paint. I snapped out of it when I felt Flavio's jacket on my shoulders. That was when I realized I was cold and shaking. Maybe the shaking wasn't because of the cold.<br>Even though Flavio held me close to his chest and try to protect me from the rain I ended up soaked when we got to the car. He opened the door for me and I climbed in without hesitating bringing my knees up to my chest to warm myself up. I made myself comfortable and I brushed my nose against the collar of his jacket to warm it up. The smell of his jacket was surely familiar. Of course…The same cologne. Before I could get too caught up in that I was distracted by the sound of his door closing and I straightened up putting the seatbelt on. I peeked at him again with the corner of my eyes and I noticed he was also wet through and the white long sleeved blouse he wore under his jacket was now outlining his form…His perfect toned muscles. I felt a little guilty that because he gave me his jacket he will probably catch a cold but at the same time my hormones were all over the place and disagreed with my guilt definitely enjoying the view. It seemed that right at this moment he looked like an angel… He looked gorgeous with his hair all wet and the ends dripping little drops on his neck. I imagined myself playing with his hair as it was. I shook my head to regain my senses and tore my eyes off from him. Bad thoughts go away.  
>I realized I was warming up so he must have turned on the heat. The rest of the way back home we were both quiet. Actually silence might have been a third person in the car. I didn't dare say anything else because whatever he's hiding from me doesn't sound like a good thing and I really don't want to know the truth. I'd rather remain naïve and innocent and not care about a thing. Who knows what he's hiding…Maybe he killed someone… But what does that have to do with Robert? Why do I see a connection there? What if…No, no, no. I don't want to think about that but there is a slight possibility. That might explain the way he's driving…always so careful and the fact that he doesn't really engage into conversation while driving. No, I don't even want to ask. I need the courage to face all the answers which obviously I don't have. I'm a coward. Still, one of the questions was about to escape the prison of my lips:<br>"Flavio…" I whispered, looking at him and paused. He seemed to be calm. Me on the other hand I'm about to ruin it because I'm seriously out of my mind. I shouldn't say this but even so, I went on. "Do you…happen to know or did you ever came across someone named Robert?"  
>He didn't answer. Instead I watched him as he shuddered, his eyes darkened and his fists clenched around the steering wheel so hard that I thought it was going to turn into dust. Now I really wish I kept my mouth shut but as always I don't do what I should. I looked away from him…moving my gaze to the drops of rain forming little streams on the windshield and the wiper blades that moved back and forth. I allowed him a little bit of space. I admit, the mystery of this situation was killing me but I was patient. After a few minutes he cleared his throat and took a deep breath.<br>"Yes, I knew a person with that name." He said, his voice emotionless.  
>I waited for him to go on. Maybe there was an explanation…something anything to make me doubt him less but no, nothing. He just said that and stopped there. I took the risk and looked at him. He had the same stance as a few seconds before. I turned my head and looked away to the curtain of water formed around the car. I couldn't distinguish anything outside. The buildings were blurry and the car was the only thing stopping the rain to connect with the ground. The sound made by the drops of water when they collided with the car made my head spin and hurt. Or maybe it was just the situation. Several scenarios circled around my brain, scenarios I was trying so hard to push away. No, that cannot be. The car was slowing down and I realized from what I could see out the window that we arrived in the same place as yesterday when he drove me home.<br>"Do you want me to drop you anywhere closer?" He asked, cold and distant. Somewhere deep in my mind this question meant something but I couldn't process it.  
>"No, I'm fine, thank you." I said mimicking his tone. The rain will wash away everything and it would help me concentrate.<br>The car came to a stop and I was about to unbuckle my seatbelt when a hand stopped me. It was Flavio. It scared me how close he was…just inches away from me and he was still coming closer. My mind was slowly registering what he was about to do but my body was reacting before my mind. I lowered my head and I pulled my hand away from his.  
>"Too soon…" I murmured, thinking out loud. "Waay too soon" I repeated shaking my head frantically and then getting out of the car in a haste slamming the door and the next thing I knew I was running in the rain.<br>I have no idea what has gotten into me. First I complain about the fact that he doesn't make a move and when he does I run away from him like the biggest coward I am.  
>The rain seemed like hitting me angrily because I was standing right in their way. Finally I reached the building I lived in and I was running up the stairs till the first floor. Before I could reach the end of the starts I tripped and collided with the cold cement. My knee hurt and the jeans I was wearing were ripped apart. There was a bleeding wound on my knee and it hurt but I really didn't care about that now. I stood up and ignored the pain going into my apartment in a haste and locking the door behind me like someone had been following me and I didn't want him to come in. Maybe there was someone following me – my past... Unfortunately I couldn't escape from that. I collapsed right there on the floor my back leaning against the door and my breathing labored from the run. Fate is cruel indeed.<br>There was a weird noise coming from the kitchen that startled me and then my mother came in the hallway.  
>"Ayanna, you're finally home. Mind telling me where were you? I was so worried about you. Oh, dear…" My poor mother said in a worried voice, rushing over to help me stand up. I think I nearly gave her a heart attack. "You look like hell. Let's take care of that wound and then I'll help you have a nice hot bath. You're shaking."<br>It wasn't from the cold even thought I was wet through. I was trembling because I was shocked. I couldn't process just yet. I'm still wondering what Flavio meant to do when he got close to me but he made my body react strangely. I was afraid of my own body and my own reactions. I've become my worst enemy.  
>My mother's attitude surprised me too. She wasn't really soothing when she was mad at me which in this case was a possibility since I haven't done my homework and been out all day who knows where.<br>Once in the bathroom I shrugged off my wet clothes, threw them into the laundry basket and then I went into the shower. I allowed myself to stay longer than usual hoping that the hot water might warm up my frozen body and stop the trembling. That didn't happen though but I sighed and got out.  
>After that, my mum helped me to get into my room as my knee was still sore and tucked me in like I was a little kid. She used to do that when I was little but as I grew up she didn't do it anymore. Partly because she was busy too. Right now I think she was doing it because something in my expression screamed 'I'm going to fall into the abyss and never resurface'. I knew what it reminded her of. Last time I was in this state of mind was when Robert… She knew the deep wound was still there. It wasn't even a scar, but an open wound attempting to eat me whole. She didn't bring up homework or whatever caused my state of mind and neither did I. She kissed my forehead and then allowed me to be alone with my thoughts hoping I would fall asleep. Yeah, like that will happen. I can't sleep. Can't do my homework either. I'm not really in the right state of mind. I have to come up with a very good excuse for tomorrow.<br>Leaving that aside, on a second thought I really wish for sleep. It might help me forget for a few hours at most or at least think I did but there is something that wouldn't allow me to do that…sink into unconsciousness and detach myself from the real world. What Flavio just said that he knows someone named Robert reminded me of something. That night when Robert died the policeman told me:  
>'The young man had an accident on the highway. Another young man driving on the opposite sense trespassed the continuous line and the cars collided. One of them, the responsible one escaped with some scratches. It was miraculous. On the other hand, a tragedy happened. The other could not make it. I guess he was very unlucky.'<br>That has to be it. He's the other teen the policeman was talking about that night. He…he's the responsible one. He killed Robert!

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><p><strong>I know, I know. This chapter is really confusing but before you start making any assumptions or believe anything yet, wait for the rest, because there certainly is more to come. <strong>

**Hope you enjoyed this chapter too and I'll soon be back with another.**

**Anne xx**


	5. Chapter IV

_ "Memories are what warm you up from the inside. But they're also what tear you apart." _  
><em>— Haruki Murakami <em>

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><p>IV.<p>

At some point I fell asleep. After I had been tortured by the cruel realization that life is full of twists and turns and it brought me face to face with a murderer I fell asleep but it was a slow process. I had a nightmare again but it wasn't different from the other one. Maybe the only difference is that this one I can remember. The dream-catcher doesn't work anymore. Robert, in his pale and transparent form was becoming Flavio… They were merging into one. But it wasn't only that. There was more. From that dream I moved onto another. I was in a garden full of white roses and the sun was shining. Nothing abnormal here but all of a sudden everything darkened as if a storm was coming and the roses were now a crimson colour. That was the only shade of colour in the blackness that surrounded me and as I looked at them it seemed that in the middle of every rose there was a pair of red eyes watching me. As I looked closely the eyes weren't so red anymore…they became hazel. Robert's eyes… I looked around, scared, looking for a way out but I was in the middle of a labyrinth of roses that were closing on me attempting to catch me into a deadly prison from which there was no escape and their ruthless spines will pierce my skin and I will bleed to death. I was pulled out of the dream by my alarm clock indicating it was time for me to wake up. If it wasn't for that, I would have woken up screaming at the top of my lungs, as usual. Great dream to have on a school day. I wonder when the nightmares will disappear.  
>I got out of bed, brushed my teeth, got some crackers from the kitchen then I grabbed my bag to leave for school. I didn't want to linger inside the house for long even though I was right on time. As I did not live far from school, I walked all the way there. The fresh air was really recomforting and exactly what I needed this morning. It helped me calm down and push the dream out of my mind for a while. So when I finally arrived into the classroom I could force a smile and be pretty convincing. Vivianna greeted me and from her attitude she saw right through me and saw that things weren't as I made them out to be. I had to tell her about Flavio of course or else she would have bugged me the whole day to tell her what is going on with me. I told her about my weekend leaving out my own conclusions regarding my strange savior. I'm sure Vivianna would have crossed the line, expressing maybe way too much concern for me.<br>"Are you serious?" She asked for confirmation when I finished the story. She seemed to be…really surprised. I supposed it didn't sound like me to get lost as I knew the way back home from her house way too well. "And that man …uh Flavio ... saved you? Just like that?"  
>"Yeah. I know it's going to sound crazy but he doesn't seem to want anything in return…I mean…He behaved very gentlemanly up until now." Until yesterday that is, I added mentally. "He's strange anyway. He's cryptic and he never finishes his sentences. He seems like he's afraid of something." I said mostly thinking out loud. Flavio was like a puzzle to me. A puzzle I had to solve of course.<br>"Weird." She said, pretty lost in thought maybe attempting the same thing as I was.  
>"You can say that again." I commented looking at her meaningfully.<br>She snapped herself out of it. "Anyways sweetie from what I gather he's full of mysteries and to be honest makes me doubt him. I would avoid him if I were you." I gave her a look as if to say 'are you serious?' She knew me better than that. "And hey, don't look at me like that. It's just me expression concern for you."  
>I pondered a bit. Shall I avoid him? Neah, I don't see how can I do that. Even if my theory was right and he is responsible for Robert's life I was too caught into the spell of his blue eyes to escape. Besides, I'd do it out of revenge. If he's guilty I wouldn't allow him to get away with it. I'm going to make him pay. I'm a bit scared though I might fall into my own trap.<br>Vivianna and I were interrupted by the arrival of our teacher. The first two hours on Mondays we have history. Usually, history is my favourite subject but not today. I was hoping that maybe we will write until our hand falls off as usual so I can keep my mind busy with something but it seems like our favorite teacher had other plans for today. The school's IT specialist followed him into the classroom and set up everything for us to be able to watch some sort of history movie. Mr. Kambert mentioned something about that saying it's useful for our finals but I was no longer paying attention so his voice seemed so far away. Great! I rested my head on the desk and I waited for the movie to start. I was so not in the mood to sit and watch a stupid movie. Mr. Kambert switched the lights off and put the movie on. I could concentrate let's say half hour after that and then I started yawning a lot but I fought with myself to focus on the movie rather than let my mind wonder or eventually fall asleep and have nightmares that would make me wake up screaming. That doesn't sound too good. Even if I tried so hard it didn't really work. I feared nightmares but I didn't predict this. I was seeing things…like pictures in the darkness. Pictures that had nothing to do with the movie of course. Well a picture if I'm being exact. It was Robert, but I couldn't distinguish his figure too well, just his face surrounded by a white smoke…like the one made by a cigarette. Then he was slowly morphing into Flavio. It went on like this for like an hour. I was dreaming even though I was perfectly awake. I felt like I'm losing my mind…not being able to focus on anything. Thankfully the movie lasted only an hour and a half and when Mr Kambert switched the lights on the picture disappeared. That's when I finally relaxed in my seat and managed to breathe properly because while that lasted I stood there stiff and on my guard holing myself from screaming. In the time left from the class the teacher asked questions about the stupid movie. His questions avoided me of course as usual. He knew that I know much more history than anyone here and well he allowed me to be alone with myself.  
>The rest of the day went on normally, without any visions or any of that stuff so the only explanation I could come up with is that all that ordeal had something to do with last night's dream that must have been stuck in my head.<br>When I got home I was even more tired than usual. The house was as empty as I expected it. Only me, my brain and the furniture. I wasn't in the mood to eat anything so I went straight for the living room table to do my homework. I had a few English essays about money, politics and power. That will keep my mind occupied for some time. I turned on the cd-player too just to have some music in the background. After I was done, I picked up my stuff and put them aside then just stood there staring at nothing. I was trying to make sense of things and came up with some theories that might explain today's events. Fist one: I'm perfectly insane. Not that it would be a problem because I think I came to terms with the fact that I'm not normal and someone someone used to tell me that all best people are insane. Hearing that made me feel relief. Second: I was still tortured by guilt that wouldn't allow me to move on and Flavio's presence in my life. Like I already said, torture. Brought out of my own hell to complicate my life and thrash my soul. Third: I probably miss Robert. Well who am I kidding…of course I do. When he left we just had a fight and we weren't on good terms so I think he didn't leave at peace. I would give anything to fix it…to make it right again but if I'm facing reality, I can't. Before I could move onto the forth theory I heard the door unlocking. My mum's home. I stood up and went to greet her. After she dropped her suitcase, she came and embraced me tightly. That's unexpected coming from my mother. I just hope I didn't have the same "sunk into the abyss" expression. I slowly pulled away and looked at her face. She looked happy.  
>"Mum, are you alright?" I checked looking at her and raising an eyebrow. Maybe there was an explanation for this.<br>"Of course I'm alright. I gave a hug to my daughter. What's wrong with that?"  
>"Oh, nothing…" I said absently….Just that you don't do it often, I added into my head.<br>"Oh and we signed the partnership with MoniNova company."  
>"And what's that supposed to mean?" I asked a bit skeptical. I didn't see the point really. No connection between the two.<br>"Well, more work for me I suppose." She answered her smile fading for a moment. "But I'm going to earn more."  
>I didn't answer. It sounded like good news but nothing seemed to hold my interest at the moment much less the financial part.<br>"I'm fixing dinner." She continued after a few moments pretty enthused, her smile back on her lips. "What are you in the mood to eat?"  
>"Um, well…. Pizza does sound…appetizing right now." I said after thinking about it for a second. Anything else didn't sound…edible right now.<br>My mum picked up the phone and ordered pizza. Okay, that was weird. My mum doesn't like pizza. She actually hates it. My best guess is that she did this for us to spend more time together even thought she must have sensed I wasn't really in the mood to chat today. I think that she considered a good thing to get me to sit with her at the same table given the fact that I didn't see her too often. I humored her even though I was pretty much preoccupied with my own insanity. I know that sounds very selfish of me and I tend to leave out all the rest but I wasn't always that way. Something changed me. I was snapped out of it by the door. The food arrived. My mother and I ate in silence then instead of sitting with her to chat I returned to my room. I felt the need to be alone. I went straight into bed and I was staring at nothing searching for patterns on the ceiling. Soon I drifted off.

For a week or so things followed the same pattern somehow. Every night I was eating with my mum. She was trying to cheer me up even going to the extreme of working at home more than at the office, spending every night with me. I must admit I was glad I was seeing mum around a lot more than I used to. We were open to each other in the same way we were before that incident happened. Even so, I couldn't tell her about Flavio. She would have told me that I should avoid him and things is I don't know if I can do that. There was something that drew me in…like some sort of magnetic force and I wasn't strong enough to fight it. In the end, I don't care if he has something to hide. That is practically irrelevant. Nothing is going to change. It's just need to know. Vivianna tried to get me to go out with her, throwing another party hoping that I will cheer up and lose some of my gloomy mood same as my mum but well, I refused to go. I just..couldn't. Plus I knew where she was getting at – trying to keep my mind off of the older, sexy, danger guy. Not a chance. Now I regained all the courage I lacked of the other day.  
>School was being boring…same thing every day. Being a senior isn't at all what's cracked up to be. Just reviews for the finals, tests, more essays…<br>On the other hand, I was changed. The things I was seeing the other day ceased to torture me. At least for the time being. It took everything to control myself and not scream every time an image popped up giving away the fact that my mind was really gone. I was having nightmares instead though and they were tiring me up a lot. Maybe the right word is nightmare because it was the same every time slightly changed though. Now I saw myself running to catch up with someone but I couldn't figure out who. Like in any dream I was running endlessly never reaching the destination. Robert popped up from time to time right in front of me like a vision, smiling and looking at me intensely dazzling me. It seemed that if I was going to look straight into his eyes I will fall into a deep dark whole and be absorbed by it. Every time he popped up I shouted at him demanding him to tell me what is it that he wants from me. I probably shouldn't raise my voice at him but I just lost it. I was screaming at the top of my lungs feeling them burning and they were so dry that I could feel like the desert moved from Sahara inside my lungs. I didn't get enough air but I couldn't stop to breathe. I was still running and running and shouting at the image of him telling him that if he wants to drive me mad, he can do that…he can take everything away from me…even my most precious thing – my mind – but he should at least tell me what he wants in return. He did nothing but smile at me and torture me with his dazzling stare and he wasn't giving anything away. I woke up every time gasping for air and jumping right up.  
>The only person that could send my nightmares away somehow it was the one I shouldn't be seeing, Flavio but he disappeared… just like that. I haven't seen him around at all even though he knew where to look for me. And then again I didn't go out much to say I could have accidentally ran into him. Now I suppose I regretted that. Actually, I don't know if to be happy or sad about his disappearance. The fact that he just… evaporated only makes me have more questions than I had before and be even more intrigued. I wanted to know if my theory was valid or not. I suppose that I was the only one out the two of us that felt something because if it was me in his place I wouldn't be able to avoid him. The desire to look into those blue eyes again is too strong. It seems that he has no problem in avoiding me. Of course, I'm little and insignificant in essence.<br>I pushed all these thoughts away and I decided to get out of bed and prepare for school. Suddenly I have the feeling that something strange will happen today but I couldn't exactly figure out what. Maybe I'm just exaggerating as usual. It's Friday. What in God's name can happen today? Still the realization of today's day of the week made me think of something. If usually I would have rejoiced it's weekend because I could relax now it's totally not the case because I didn't have anything important to occupy my time with enough to make me forget about the whole Robert-Flavio dilemma.  
>When I got to school I was greeted by Vivianna like any other morning. She was still trying to bring me back to earth how she loved to say. I was very down to earth though. Sort of. She was trying to make plans with me for the weekend: a shopping session, maybe a professional massage, a crazy PJ party. Me on the other hand didn't seem to interested and had no interest to hide it as I grimaced at every suggestion she made. Eventually she gave up and let me be. She knew that I will give in eventually and I will come to her. Still when she saw I didn't she insisted when she thought that I was really going to pay attention to her. In fact, I didn't but she didn't need to know.<br>After school I left home with Vivianna. She eventually made it through my mind's shield and convinced me to go shopping with her. She was persistent I have to give her that. I did need to get changed and drop my books though. We were close to where I lived when across the road I spotted a familiar car. Then I saw Flavio escorting a blonde woman, the same shade of blond as the receptionist from Red Garden. She walked as if she was a predator ready to seduce her pray. More than that I couldn't see because she had her back on me but when she climbed it I had the impression that actually the person I was seeing now and the receptionist were the same person. I was staring with my mouth hanging open until I realized Vivianna was trying to catch my attention. I focused on her.  
>"Hello there. Welcome back to earth." She said, sarcastic, seeing I was now paying attention to her. "Mind telling me what was that?"<br>"Uh…well, that was…Flavio." I mumbled, sighing.  
>"Really?" She asked for confirmation, unpleasantly surprised. I nodded. "Well he doesn't seem like the faithful type if you ask me. Now I should say 'I told you so' even if you hate it. You have to admit I'm right. I told you it's better if you stay away. It might save you from suffering in vain." She shrugged.<br>"Heh, like I care…" I lied smoothly trying to seem convincing. "I don't care what he's doing or who is he going out with. It's not like we're dating or anything. I really wasn't planning to see him ever again anyway."  
>"Oh, really?" She rose an eyebrow, looking at me suspiciously. "I thought you said you had a date and judging by the expression you had you were definitely expecting another."<br>"Uh, no, not really… Anyways, it doesn't matter. You know, I'm not really in the mood to go anywhere today. Can't we leave it for another day?"  
>"No way missy!" She said determined. "Judging by the expression you have now you will most likely go to your room and cry after the guy that you're totally 'not' dating and that supposedly you don't want to see anymore… That's exactly why we're going to a shopping session and we're going to have fun exactly as we planned." She continued, grinning and exposing her perfect teeth.<br>I nodded. I knew better than to challenge her when she is in a mood. Besides, she was right. Who else knew me better if not her? Plus if I refused to go now she would make me feel real bad about it later so I supposed there's no escape clause is there…

Even though I was supposed to have fun and forget all about it I still had that feeling that something's going to happen. We were now at the mall in Vivianna's favorite store. Right after we went in, she immediately spotted some things and wanted to try them. I was waiting for her to change outside the fitting room when a boy appeared on my right looking like an angel. I could sense something inhuman about him like some sort of weird aura; this sudden appearance of this guy I was under the impression I was the only one that could see him confirmed the feeling I had earlier. This creature…whatever he was mumbled something but I couldn't understand what he was saying.  
>"Who are you? I don't understand what you're saying. Can you repeat please?" I addressed to him. Here I was, living my insanity. He was still mumbling and nothing made any sense. I tried to read on his lips. "Be…Be careful…Why should I be careful?" I frowned. Huh?<br>"Ayanna?" I heard Vivianna calling my name. I turned to face her but when I glanced back to the boy he already disappeared. Okay. So maybe I really am insane after all. I took a few deep breaths to calm myself.  
>"Ayanna?" She said my name again, trying to make me focus. "Who are you talking to?" She asked suspicious.<br>"Uh…I'm not sure… I'm talking to myself I suppose…" I lied. Indeed, I had been the only one that saw that boy. Gah, me and my stupid visions. Can't this happen when I'm by myself?  
>"Oh…okay. It doesn't matter." She said shaking her head. "So, how do I look in this dress? Do you think it suits me?"<br>I could tell why she changed the subject. We're in a public place, surrounded by people that were already looking at us like we were a pair of lunatics in a mall and well it was certainly not the place to talk about crazy things. I answered her question as polite as I could. I wasn't good at picking up a dress. They weren't my type.  
>"Perfect." I mumbled. "I don't think that there is another one to suit you better than this one."<br>"C'mon, be serious." She said glaring a little. "Do I look that bad?"  
>"No, I'm serious. You look great." I said and forced a smile.<br>She forced a smile in return and without saying another world she went to change in her own clothes. Vivianna did buy some things after all without asking for my opinion again. I didn't bother with it. Not because I was picky and there wasn't anything for my taste here but because I didn't need anything. I had a bunch of clothes hanging in my closet that I didn't wear not once. We glanced around for about two hours. When I got home it was past seven. I didn't even realize how fast the time passed. Lost track of it I guess with the day being crazy and all. My mum wasn't home yet. I suppose she's at another business meeting.  
>Instead of going straight into my room as I usually do, I lingered around in the living room then stayed onto the balcony. I felt the need to clear my mind and I usually did that watching the sky. I opened the window to feel the air too, taste it so I can tell if it's going to rain or not. The sky changed just in a matter of minutes. It was darker than it had been a minute ago. If you looked closely you could say a lot of shades in the clouds…blue…purple and right above the horizon a white line as if someone took a brush and painted it there. The wind was blowing hitting my face refreshing me. I could sense a storm coming. It might rain soon. Leaving that aside, all this had a different meaning for me. The weather is continuously changing….so is Flavio and the storm that it's about to hit I see it as my mind right now a total chaos.<br>I looked closely at the sky again. The pure white line disappeared completely combining with the other colours. That doesn't mean that there is nothing pure in Flavio. I'm sure there is. I let out a sigh and I finally came to realize that I'm strong enough to face him when the time comes. It was obvious that none of today's events was coincidental. He did it on purpose. Instead of picking another place to meet her he choose exactly that one knowing that I will see him. I give up. I'm not trying to find an explanation anymore. I'm sure I will hear it from him anyway and that will happen pretty soon. I glanced at the sky once more and then I left before I start hallucinating again and instead of the sky I will see his eyes. I went into my room and sat down at my desk opening my laptop. I had abandoned it for two years. My entire universe changed when Robert left for good and I didn't want to face the temptation of torturing myself looking at picture of us or anything else that might remind me of him. I tried to forget about him using other methods but since I was going down memory lane…  
>While my laptop was warming up the same figure I saw at the mall was reflecting on the black screen. I glanced behind me but there was no one there. When I turned back to the computer the boy was there looking at me. He was still trying to say something but again I couldn't hear him. I tried reading on his lips again but I couldn't. He was talking too fast or rather…mimicking it because he had no voice. I decided to ignore his presence. I waited until my computer completely warmed up and then I opened a blank document feeling like I should get everything out of the system. Before I even started typing though the keyboard was already moving without me touching them.<br>"Fine, you win." I mumbled to the unknown boy that I could still distinguish on the screen if I glanced closely enough. "Tell me what do you want from me." I demanded trying to keep my voice steady not allowing him to scare me and glancing behind me where the creature should be. He wasn't there though nor he had the intention to appear as a somewhat physical presence like at the mall.  
>He didn't answer but turning back to the computer I saw that the keyboard was still moving. He was writing everything he wanted to tell me in the document I just opened. I read out loud.<br>"Be careful what you're doing. You should give up trying to find out more about Flavio. The truth might open old wounds…"  
>I didn't want to read anymore so I pressed delete to delete everything. I know there must be someone up there trying to protect me from all bad things that could happen to me but I ran from the pass for too long. I have to face it to be able to move on. With that realization I felt that the force that was keeping me in the past started losing its power. I felt more at ease. Still I shuddered when I saw that the clock that sat on my desk stood still for a moment and then started ticking again. I felt something changing but I wasn't able to tell what it was exactly. I turned off my computer and stood up not really feeling in the mood to let it all out. My mind was blank and I was suddenly very tired. I changed myself into my indoor clothes as in a t-shirt and a pair of very comfy trousers. I went to the kitchen to get a glass of water before going to bed. It was important to keep yourself hydrated. While the water was running I saw the calendar with the corner of my eyes and it indicated that today was the 12th of March.<p>

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><p><strong>For one, Ayanna isn't insane. It is an explanation for all this but it will come later on. I'm currently working on chapter V which is going to be even more twisted if that's possible. Lol <strong>

**Anyways, I can guarantee you this. All the journey to the end will be worth your while. **

**So I'm sincerely hoping everyone's enjoying it. **

**Be back soon with the new chapter. **

**Much love, **

**Anne x**x


	6. Chapter V

**Here I am with another chapter of this twisted little story. Enjoy xx**

_You better bring a light _

_To find the house of meanings _

_In the labyrinth of yes or no_

_- Scorpions - Walking on the edge _

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><p>V.<p>

I was taken by surprise by today's date. It wasn't necessary for me to write things down at school so I didn't acknowledge it earlier. 12th of March. Exactly two years ago Robert… I wish I knew what really happened that night. The policeman told me vaguely what happened and then I couldn't really talk to his parents. His mother hated me and blamed me for what happened because she probably heard about our fight. She knew her son better and when he got mad the best release he had was to drive endlessly and speedy. No one ever imagined that he would actually have an accident because he might have been speedy but he was always careful above all. And yes, maybe I was responsible but at least I had to know the truth to be able to live with myself for the rest of my life. I think Flavio knows something about this since he told me he knows someone by that name and he will tell me all about it even if I have to force the truth out of him. I've waited long enough. I don't really care about the consequences, just need to know. I want to know what was he doing right where I was that night because it couldn't have been a coincidence – I do not believe in them, I refuse – why did he save me, why he refused to tell me the truth about him, why he always seems to know much more about me even if that's not even possible and why is he avoiding me. I will make the most of this weekend and I'm going to look for him. The place I should start with is the restaurant he took me to – Red Garden – see if I can find something about him there. If not maybe the receptionist might tell me something. People tend to spill the beans when their hand comes in contact with some money. Plus they seem to know each other pretty well. I wonder what's the connection between these two.

I was so caught up in my own thoughts that I forgot what I was doing. The glass filled with water and now it began spilling. I turned off the water, spilled some of the water from the glass then sipped from it then went back to my room. I decided that it's time for me to get some good night's sleep. If I want to go through with the plan I had in mind earlier I might need a sharp mind functioning at full speed. Plus, I was almost like a zombie, more asleep than awake. Shopping sessions are definitely tiring. Everytime I promised myself I won't go anymore but somehow I end up going anyway. So that statement is indeed true after all. Not everything you say is showing into your actions.

I put the glass half with water on the nightstand then I stood there staring at nothing. I tried to push away everything that happened today. I wanted to forget that vision even though that angelic face did remind me of something. Now that I think of it that boy wasn't really a boy… he was older than it seemed like maybe 25 or 30 years old. If I press the matter a little further I might even say that he resembled my father. He died young and well they were the same age I suppose. I wish I would have known him better. I mean, I wonder how things were if he was alive right now. Maybe he's the one up there protecting me making up for the fact that he's not here physically. If so, I would say thank you but no thank you. It's not really necessary because I can take care of myself. I can face everything one way or another. What can Flavio be after all? Some sort of supernatural creature? Absurd! That's just hilarious really. I shook my head trying to clear it and focus on falling asleep. I let out a sigh and then turned on one side waiting for the unconsciousness to take me. I could hear a thunder in the background and my room was suddenly light up by a lightning bolt. Nature seemed furious like a starving animal. I tried to ignore the sound that sent a shiver down my spine and concentrate on my sleep.

Next day I woke up all fresh and with a purpose. It's weird. I don't remember having a dream or nightmare or if I did I really don't remember it. I lingered a bit in bed then I sat up all in a hurry, got changed, brushed my teeth then left for the kitchen to grab a bite. I quickly grabbed a bowl some milk straight from the fridge and some cereals and ate in a hurry standing by the counter. After I was done, I cleaned after myself then went to grab my stuff so I could go. I felt a smile playing at my lips without any reason for it there. Maybe just having something to do lifts up my spirit. I took my purse, my phone and I left the house, locking the door behind me. I ran down the stairs and I was out of the building in no time. I was surely enthusiastic over something that might not be anything in the end. I stopped a little in front of the building I lived in to admire the nature. Compared to last night things were much more calmer. Sunny, like last night the apocalypse didn't pass by to say hi. The trees sat there quietly not moving even though the leaves betrayed the activity from last night being a little in disarray. There were drops of pearls on the grass shinning into the sun but they could only be observed if you were looking close enough and well I suppose my senses are a little heightened this morning. As for the rest, the soil was already dry and the nature looked peaceful. It felt like it was sleeping after a white night. The only sound that penetrated the silence and stillness of the nature were the cars passing by in a hurry god-knows-where.

I took the first cab I found. Destination: Red Garden. Before I climbed out I took a business card from the driver just in case I might need a ride. I had no idea how long I will stay here and I didn't want to keep him while I do my business.

The atmosphere at the restaurant didn't change much from last time except this time it was sunnier and that made the rose garden seem like it was more alive than ever. I could swear that the roses will start talking to me any moment now.

"Ayanna, wake up! You came here with a purpose." Whispered a voice from within me.

Yes, that's right. I snapped myself out of it and shook my head. I took a deep breath and found the determination deep inside me to climb the few steps that brought me closer to the front door…closer to what I needed, wanted to know.

The first observation I had after I entered the restaurant was that it wasn't as popular as last time rather empty I must say but it's still so early in the morning. I headed straight for the reception but no one was there. I pressed the bell's button a few times and a boy showed up to serve me; if I remember well he's the waiter from last time I was here…the one that attended me and Flavio.

"Can I help you?" he said politely.

"Sure." I answered, a dazzling and flirtatious smile played at my lips. Maybe if I can use all the charm I have I will get what I want from him.

"What is it that I can help you with? Do you need a reservation or you have one already?"

"No, no, I'm not here to eat. I actually came to talk to the receptionist that works here. I'm guessing today isn't her shift?" I said the last sentence sounded more of a question.

"Oh you're referring to Miss Blavatsky. She doesn't work here anymore. She left town motivating she had something important to attend to. Is there an urgent matter? The thing you wanted to discuss with her?"

Huh? She left town? But I saw her yesterday or maybe…maybe it wasn't her. Anyways, something's not right. I was trying to figure things out when the boy's voice snapped me out of it.

"Miss?"

"Uh, yes" I answered but maybe I shouldn't have. "I wanted to ask her about a certain person. I want to know more and she's the only one I could tie that person to and I thought she might have some more information for me." With her gone, I have to use all the chances I get.

"Is he our regular customer?" He asked. Hmm well maybe he could tell me more after all.

"I don't know. I think so, yes." To be honest, I had no idea if he came here often or not. I felt sorry that I couldn't give the poor guy more information. That is not going to help my case either.

"Let me check our register. Do you know his or her name?"

"Yes, Flavio." I told him. Again I didn't have too much information to share but there couldn't be too many people named Flavio coming to this particular restaurant right?

"His surname?"

"I'm sorry, I don't remember it at the moment." I lied smoothly. Truth to be told, I don't know it at all, I added mentally.

The boy looked into the register anyway searching for anyone named Flavio. I was beginning to worry that maybe he won't find him. Maybe who knows…he didn't give his real name. I distracted myself watching what he was doing when suddenly his finger stopped almost making a hole into the page and pointing a name.

"I found it." He said enthusiastically. "He came here a week ago. Grogoch Flavio. I remember he left a business card once when he came accompanied by Miss Blavatsky. He was the one that recommended her for the open job as a receptionist. I never forgot that business card. It was one of a kind compared to what we received and well…uh…it's obvious that he's rich." The boy was frantically searching for something on the desk and I just looked at him raising my eyebrows. "Oh, here it is." He said picking something up. I was even more confused. "Here, maybe it is helpful."

"Thank you, I really appreciate it." I smiled at him and gave him some money. He took them and quickly made them disappear into his pockets as if we did some sort of illegal transaction.

"You're welcome, my lady. I'm glad I could help you. Feel free to return to Red Garden anytime you want."

I left enthusiastic, clutching the business card tightly in my hand afraid I might lose it. After I was out of the restaurant I stopped to take a look. Indeed the boy was right. This business card was fancy…made from a high quality material, covered in gold and the green letters imprinted on it seemed like emeralds. Right under the handwritten name there was an address. Cool. I thought there is only going to be a phone number that usually is out of service. That's what usually happens right? Oh, wait, maybe I've seen way too many movies. Actually there wasn't any phone number. Just a name and an address. Surely weird but I'm going to follow the lead no matter where it takes me. I have to try. I shook my head to myself to push away any other thoughts or arguments that might make me change my mind and then I called a cab. As I already memorized the address I put the business card safely into my pocket. The cab arrived in five minutes and I demanded him to take me to that address.

When I got there and climbed out of the cab I couldn't believe that I was still in the same modern little town I lived in since I was born. I noticed with the corner of my eyes that the driver was staring at me and then he left shaking his head. On a second thought maybe it wasn't me. It was the house. Maybe he had the same impression as me – that it didn't really belong here. The house was too fancy and had a certain debonair that wasn't an exact fit in this little and humble little town. Actually not fitting at all. The fence had a certain style to it that I haven't seen before. The garden wasn't big but full of flowers and grass and seemed alive. There was only one clear path that lead to the front door. The only thing separating the garden and the house was the porch which wasn't wide but enough to fit a swing. This porch was enclosed with a wooden fence separated from place to place by the pillars of the roof. Then the house seemed old and sublime almost as if it was built back in 1800 but a bit improved to fit today's century. It was painted in pale colors and the balcony on the second floor was made out of reddish wood which made a perfect sync with the window frames. The door was made out of white ash wood or so it seems. I was still watching the house from distance when I notice the front door opening and that's the moment when I freaked out and I hid by a tree like the coward I am scared of god-knows what. I came all the way here to hide. Flavio was leading out of his house a girl; at first I supposed that she was a one-night stand but looking at her closely it was the receptionist. They seemed very at ease with each other, laughing and having their own jokes. I half expected him to stay there by the door and just watch her leave but instead he was leading her to the gate. The last drop of courage drained from my body and in that particular moment I wished I could become small and run or I wished that the earth will open up and swallow me whole. Well that thing can't actually happen so I turned on my heels and planned to leave. I have no idea what I was doing here anyway.

"Ayanna?" I heard a familiar voice saying my name.

Oh crap, he saw me. I was trembling all of a sudden and my heart was beating so fast that I think I'm gonna have to pick it up from the ground. I could feel the pounding in my ears and it was beating like a drum. I took a deep breath trying to calm myself and eventually face him. C'mon, don't be a coward.

When I turned around I realized I was right. The woman from yesterday and the receptionist were the same person. There was no doubt of that now. She was sitting right next to him with a smug smile on her face and she looked at me kindly but at the same time there was something hidden deep down but I didn't know what. I looked away from her and focused on Flavio. The question 'How did you find me?' was pretty obvious on his face so I tried to find my voice to explain what I was doing there and tried to seem as natural as I could.

"Hi, Flavio. Uh, I was close by and I had the impression it's you on the other side. I felt the need to come closer to check." I said in a rush before I start babbling and speaking incoherently. I wasn't too good at lying and this was the worst explanation I could ever find but it will do. I can manage I guess. I didn't want to seem obsessed or that I follow him everywhere. That was far from the truth. I just wanted some answers that's all. Anyways my excuse was close to his excuse..the one he gave me before we went to Red Garden. If he said it for the same reason I did as in not to seem desperate or a stalker or whatever this might not work. At all. He will see right through me and I'm going to look stupid and lame.

"Oh…" He said and paused. I knew it! "Well, do you want to come inside since you're here? I can offer you a drink or something while we talk about everything you want." He continued ignoring my pathetic excuse but showing that obviously letting me know indirectly he figured it out. He wouldn't give me away. Not with her standing right there.

"Uh, I… I don't want to interrupt anything…" I said looking at the beautiful blonde.

"Oh, you aren't interrupting at all. Zelda was actually leaving now." He explained then gave her a short embrace then she left, studying me with the corner of her eye as she was departing. Great. It seems that I already have an enemy even though I hardly did anything to make her hate me or something. I don't see how. We just met. Plus, Flavio didn't even introduced us but she did look like she knew me.

"So you are sure you don't want to come inside?" Flavio pulled me out of my reverie. "Don't worry. I don't eat people. Usually." He chuckled.

"You can never know what goes through someone's head but I think I'm gonna take the risk. Fine, I accept your invitation but unfortunately I can't stay for too long. I have some business to do."

Another lame excuse. But what should I say? That I'm not leaving until he spills everything? Even if I was the one with the fair play, it's better if we take it slowly. Baby steps. Friends with the enemy get in his circle of trust then crush him from inside the circle.

I passed the gate and now I was on his territory. I sort of had a bad feeling. I felt like I just stepped in another world which I cannot escape too easily from at least not without a price. Question is what is the price. The little path that lead to the front door felt a little weird under my feet… they felt little bumps into the flat surface and I had the impression that if I took one wrong step I will fall down. Flavio was watching me and smiling which made me flush all over. I wasn't used to someone watching all my steps and I tend to be clumsy which obviously happened because well I was too distracted and I tipped over a rock or my own feet I can't tell. Flavio caught me into his arms though right before I fell. I blushed again but he just smiled and helped me up. He was still the quiet person I knew him to be. He went ahead to open the door for me and let me go first. A total gentleman of course.

I took a few steps inside the house and then I froze. I was prepared for anything but not for this. While he close the door I looked around taking everything in. If they made the outside look much more…modern inside they kept it unchanged…I felt like I went back in time in the 1800 or the 1900 maybe. On the left there was a room that looked like the living room. The decorations were simple. A coffee table made of massive wood and two large armchairs upholstered in cream silk, embellished with olive-green models. There was also a fireplace there made of marble in the same shade as the armchairs strikingly contrasting with the pale-yellow pain of the wall. Above the fireplace right on the center there was a mirror with an ancient reddish frame and on either sides of the mirror there were some Egyptian statues. From what I could tell using my knowledge about Egyptian culture one of them was Isis and the other one was her mate, Osiris, each statue was sitting on a wood-stand. I didn't expect to have something in common with this somewhat stranger but I did. I sort of had a thing for Egyptian culture. My eyes refused to leave those two statues, ignoring the rest of the house completely.

"I see you're interested in ancient culture." I heard Flavio's voice pulling me out of my inner thoughts.

"Yes." I answered absently. I was still trying to figure out the connection and what did they mean.

"Well, ancient culture is one of my hidden passions. I bought these two statues on e-bay a couple of months ago. I found their signification pretty interesting."

I looked at him with a frown. I must admit he lost me. I couldn't be bothered to keep in mind which meant what.

"Oh, I thought you know…" He said amused. "Don't worry, I can explain. Isis, the one on the left she's the goddess of simplicity, protector of the dead and the matron of nature and magic as well. Osiris, her mate, is the god of the afterlife the underworld and the dead. What's interesting about Osiris is his representation. His skin in particular which is green that means rebirth. I see this rebirth thing as a way to fix what went wrong in your first life." He told me pretty deep in thought at the end.

"Oh" I exclaimed astonished. "You do know a lot."

He smiled. It's good to know he has a brilliant and wise mind. But the silence between us reveal that there are secrets. Maybe too many. I took my mind off of it and I continued to look around analyzing the house. Right next to the entrance there was a stair case that lead upstairs where there were probably other bedrooms and on the right side there was a room but I couldn't tell what that can be as it was protected by a massive wooden door. This one really fits according to his personality – full of mystery. I think he saw me looking at it full of questions so he felt the need to explain or something because he was clearing his throat demanding my attention.

"That room is my office. I would invite you in, but it's a bit messy at the moment and I don't want you to think I'm like that all the time."

"It's okay." I said. "We all something we don't want to share with others, I understand." His answer made him shudder but he got a grip on himself before I could be sure that he even had that reaction.

"Would you like something to drink?" He said, probably trying to change the subject.

"Sure. A glass of water would be fine."

"Okay. Coming right up. In the mean time, make yourself at home." He smiled.

I watched him disappear into the hallway. I looked back to the living room taking it in one more time. My eyes stopped on those two arm chairs and I was wondering if the material was as soft as it looked so my feet started moving without having my conscious approval in their direction. I stopped and ran my fingers over the material. It was so soft and silky I was almost afraid to sit on it. Still I was so tired and I needed to sit so I did. I inhaled and exhaled a couple of times. I was unwinding all of a sudden and feeling really comfortable even though I wasn't at home. I was in some stranger's house which would make any other person feel uncomfortable. Well I wasn't.

Flavio soon came back with two glasses of water and some napkins. He smiled at me then sat down on the armchair opposite of me.

"So…" He began after a minute of silence. "What do you think?" He asked meaning the house.

"Amazing." I answered mesmerized. "Everything makes me think that maybe I went back in time. Everything here looks so old. I have the impression that at any given time a lady with a woven patterned silk crinoline, her body being so small because of her corset and her hair let loose, little curls streaming down her shoulders."

Even though I expected him to laugh at me he didn't. Instead I felt his eyes on my face. I decided to ignore it because I wanted to remain calm and comfortable not frantic and hyperventilating. He thought a little about something before he answered.

"Yes, the house is in the Grohoch family for a few generations. My father inherited it and passed on to me. The house is so far from any civilization because it's old and well the design doesn't really fit anywhere. Anyways, I feel pretty comfortable here and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. I know that sounds weird but I don't mind living alone. My parents passed away unfortunately."

"I'm sorry. Uh and about the house…I don't know who would want to give this away. Never seen anything so… fascinating in all my life."I answered lost in thought.

"Can I ask you something, Ayanna?"

"Sure."I took the risk to look at him and quickly regretted making that decision. Something from his expression told me that I'm soon going to regret that I agreed with him questioning me but on a second thought I don't care. He rarely asked me something so why miss a one time thing? Plus I think he was just trying to change the subject because he didn't want me to ask more about his family.

"Would you like to tell me how did you find me exactly? I understood that you lied about it because Zelda was there but there's just us now and you can tell me."

Oh, Crap!

"Oh, well…um.."I stuttered after a minute blushing. "I got your address from the restaurant, Red Garden. I wanted some explanations and I didn't know where to find you so I tried there."I shrugged. "As I noticed that you and the receptionist were pretty close I just thought she might know where to find you."I went on raising an eyebrow implying that maybe there was something going on between them. "Unfortunately I found out that she doesn't work there anymore but a boy was extremely nice to me and helped a damsel in distress. He found your business card and here I am."I confessed. If I wanted the truth I had to be truthful myself.

"I see."He said pretty serious. "By the way, about me and Zelda, it's not what you think it is. We're just friends."

"That's what you all say…"I said sarcastically. "But you know…I saw you yesterday and I was left with the impression that-"

"You thought that I did it intentionally so you would see me, right?" He finished my sentence. "Well, I didn't realize I was close to your place until after I left so no it wasn't something I planned. I'm telling you again and I want you to keep that in mind. "He paused a little looking straight into my eyes dazzling me and at the same time reassuring me he's telling the truth. "Between Zelda and I…nothing is going on. She's just…um, a very special person." I wondered why it was such a big deal and why I should believe that he and Zelda didn't share any sort of bond? Before I could ask about it and also find out why he said she was special as if reading my mind he went on. "What explanations do you want exactly?"

"Well I would like to know how did you find me that night, why did you saved me and why you refuse to tell me so many things about you."I said quickly. I took a deep breath because I surely needed it and waited for his answer. I looked at his expression changing constantly: it went from horror to sadness to frustration and then after a couple of minutes he pulled a poker face and sighed.

"These answers you seek I don't know if you can understand them nor you're prepared to hear them. Even though I'm sure there are signs that warn you to stay away from the truth you're stubborn. Fine I'm going to tell you. But not today. It's getting late and I should get you home. Your mother is probably worried about you."

I glanced outside for the first time though the large windows from the living room. He was right, it was getting darker. I have no idea where all my time ran. When I'm with him it seems like my time is never enough. I can't tell you how sorry I am that the darkness came and kidnapped me from him, from the truth. I nodded having no other choice than to agree with him. He stood up, took his car keys and opened the door waiting for me to stand up too and go first. I hardly complied. I didn't want to leave firstly because I just fell in love with this house and secondly because I was eager to know more despite his warning. He lead me to the car which was parked on the sidewalk rather than in the garage like I expected it to be sign this wasn't the first time he left the house today. This time I told him to drop me exactly where I lived telling him I will give him the exact address when we get close. He nodded. I refuse to hide anymore. Maybe if I'll be more open he will be the same. Other than my demand and me giving him the directions we drove in silence. He was as quiet as usual and for a second I wondered what he's thinking. It's not the first time when I wish I could have some sort of supernatural strength to read people's minds well…certain ones not all of them. When the car came to a stop I was surprised. I thought the way back was longer than this and he wasn't speedy. Maybe I had this impression because I went there from a different place. I would have noticed if he drove speedy because I had been looking out the window all the time and I could distinguish shapes and not get dizzy.

I didn't know what to say so I just mumbled "Have a good night!"and I climbed out heading to the building. Everything happened so fast that I didn't even realize when I got inside exactly. Probably nothing else mattered if he wasn't here.

Again I felt really tired. Yawing I went straight to my room, changed myself and laid down. Like magic, I wasn't so tired anymore. As always I had a bad habit of going though the day again instead of sleeping but this time I was analyzing his last words instead. What is it that he wanted to say about signs? He knew something about my visions or my dreams? I covered my face with a pillow out of frustration and I was frantically shaking my head. I don't understand anything anymore. _Wakaranai! Wakaranai! Wakaranai!_

* * *

><p><strong>Now I think I owe you some explanations just to make things more clear.<strong>

_So, to begin with it, 'wakaranai' is the Japanese for 'I don't know'. Ayanna is basically half English half Japanese by name. Her real origins are to be discovered. Just a little tip, almost everyone is half something in this story and not only in the name. _

_The name Grogoch comes from the Irish Folklore and it's basically used for beings that are half human, half fairy. I somewhat kept the half thing but changed it a bit. You'll see what I mean later on. So by name you could say Flavio is half Italian half Irish. Twisted combination isn't it? _

_ 'Miss Blavatsky' as in Zelda Blavatsky. The name 'Blavatsky' is the name of a charismatic woman, a theosophist, writer and traveler. She was a spiritualist and studied the occults. She died at the age of 59 in London. _

_ The myth of Isis and Osiris. It's very well known that Isis somehow brought back Osiris because she thought that without a proper burial he could not go in peace. The story is quite interesting but somewhat irrelevant. Only one detail is important, the one I already told you. _

_So that being said, I wait for your questions if there are others. _

_Much love,_

_Anne. xx _


	7. Chapter VI

_ Wish I was too dead to care _  
><em>If indeed I cared at all <em>  
><em>...<em>  
><em>I wish I had a reason <em>  
><em>My flaws are open season <em>  
><em>For this I gave up trying <em>  
><em>One good turn deserves my dying <em>

_You don't need to bother _  
><em>I don't need to be <em>  
><em>I'll keep slipping farther <em>  
><em>But once I hold on <em>  
><em>I won't let go 'til it bleeds <em>

_(**Corey Taylor - Bother**)_

* * *

><p>VI.<p>

I don't really remember how or when I fell asleep but I woke up screaming at the top of my lungs. I was all sweaty and shaking. I sat up trying to calm myself down taking my head in my hands. Closing my eyes again the nightmare I had played again in my mind. For the first time Aldon, my father appeared into my dreams and my guess turned out to be right after all. He was the spirit or whatever that was that appeared to me and warned me to be careful. He told me the same things in my dream and he actually finished the sentence he began to write that day but this time I was forced to hear him. I tried to wake up but I just..couldn't…it was like someone or something was keeping me there. I could still hear his words.

"Be careful what you're doing. You should give up trying to find out more about Flavio. The truth might open old wounds. Flavio is not who he pretends to be. Banish him from your life until it's not too late. His true identity will open your unhealed wounds even more than they are and also create new ones. Stop looking for the truth!"

His words echoed in my head for a few minutes and kept repeating over and over. I opened my eyes hoping to shake the worried expression from my father's face from my mind and I shook my head hoping I could make the words stop playing into my head like a broken record. I climbed out of bed slowly moving as slow as a snail and left my room. The house was quiet so that means mum is not home and for the first time I was glad. I didn't want to see another worried face that would torture my mind because I hate worrying the people I care about. Now I realized that I have no idea if my mum was or wasn't at home when I got in last night. I hope not because I'm sure my expression didn't look great at all.

After I roamed around the house for a couple of minutes to calm myself I decided that a bath will help. I was still sweaty after the nightmare and restless night so the bath might help me clear my body and my mind as well. While I waited for the tub to fill I brushed my teeth. After that I took a couple of minutes to look at my face in the mirror. I was even more pale than usual, my eyes darkened so much that they were almost black and the circles underneath my eyes made me look like a zombie. I sighed, pulled my hair up with a hair clip then turned off the water and got in.

I stayed in for half an hour or so until the water cooled off completely. It didn't have the calming effect I expected but I did calm down a bit. I wrapped myself in a towel and I stood there on the edge of the tub thinking about my father's words. Even if they were still loud and clear in my head I decided to ignore them. It won't affect my determination to listen to Flavio's story until the end when he decides to tell me the truth. With that thought I stood and headed back into my room to get ready to leave. While I was picking up the clothes I would wear today very carefully there was an infernal sound and I felt like the earth shook along with it. Great. Even the weather is against me. I gave up picking clothes to go out. It was moot point anyway. Instead I changed into some comfortable clothes and went to the balcony. It was like hell on earth outside indeed. The wind was blowing with so much power that poor trees could barely face the pressure but they fought against it as they could. People on the street were trying to hold their umbrellas in place but they ended up wet through anyway. Rain was pouring furiously. I gave up watching the stormy weather and went back into my room.

I left the door open as I didn't see any reason to close it since I was all alone. There wasn't anything I could do than lay in bed. I can't possibly go out in a storm like that and I couldn't turn on any appliance afraid it might break.

My room was a total chaos: things thrown around, junky food on my desk… but I wasn't in any mood to clean it. Maybe later.

I don't remember the exact moment when I fell asleep but when I sunk back into consciousness I could hear voices but I couldn't tell who they belonged to. I stood up quickly…Maybe too quickly the dizziness quickly overwhelming me and I had to stay still of a few moments for it to go away. When it did, I went out of the room and headed straight in the direction the voices were coming from. The kitchen. I opened the door to see a room full of smoke and mum and uncle Boris sitting at the table my uncle just putting out a cigarette. My uncle's presence was definitely weird and unexpected. I had seen him few times and just for a couple of minutes but I knew his face. I was good with people.

"Ayanna. I'm so glad to see you." My uncle greeted me in a fake enthused tone. "I can't believe how grown up you are. And gorgeous too."

"Maybe you wouldn't have noticed the change if you passed by our house often since my father's funeral" I answered putting too much acid in my tone, emphasizing each word. I was usually a bit grumpy when I woke up but his presence only made it worse.

"Ayanna, don't be rude." My mum warned me, putting out her cigarette and standing up authoritatively, trying to be the parent figure she usually wasn't with her absent all the time. "Uncle Boris is going to stay with us for a while." She informed me.

"Well, I know he has a house of his own." I said sarcastically.

I never really liked uncle Boris even though I barely knew him. This is the first time I see him since I've grown up. So you could say he didn't make his presence known until now. Other than the few conversations him and mother had on the phone to ask her for some money he was pretty non-existent. My mother was way too naïve to believe all his crap and land him the money he needed every single time. He might be her brother but everything has its limit. It probably didn't make much sense to hate someone I barely knew but the fact that he was just asking for money promising he will returning and never doing that seems reason enough. I opened my eyes since I was 15 when my mother was so close to losing her job because of him.

"Well, right now he doesn't. He was fired and how he could no longer pay his taxes his house was put up for auction. Poor baby…" My mother said with so much sadness in her voice. She genuinely loved her brother but I still don't get how she can be so naïve as to believe every lie he came up with. He probably gambled everything – because yes, he had that bad habit – and with his luck he lost everything. Well maybe when you love someone you refuse to see the flaws. I, on the other hand, I couldn't ignore them.

"I'm sure he deserved what he got. Fine then. I will be in my room hoping he will leave soon." I said leaving the kitchen.

"Ayanna!" My mother yelled but I ignored that.

I hated to be rude but I couldn't stand to see his lazy ass and him showing off his masks changing with every faked emotion he had to impress my mother with. I would leave home right after I will graduate choosing a university away from home but poor mum needed me. I had some savings from all the cash my mother gave me but I couldn't afford to leave and allow Mr. Grasshopper to take advantage of mum and sell everything he found valuable in this house.

I locked myself into the room. I didn't want any unwanted guests into my sanctuary. Who knows what ideas crosses his head once he bursts into the bar near by and drinks way too much than he should. I put the matter of my uncle aside for a few minutes trying to concentrate on preparing my bag for tomorrow. Last week of school before the spring break. Thank God! I will finally be away from the stressful school days for a week and I will also try to put away the thought of finals. I really needed to relax as much as I could. I think I might have some things to deal with though with my uncle's arrival. After I finished with my bag I put my laptop in function and turned on the music. I let it play in the background not really paying attention to the lyrics. I laid down on the bed taking my chips with me. While I was munching on the chips looking at an invisible spot into the ceiling my thoughts were wondering… well not aimlessly. They were focused on one person: Flavio. Even if I had many problems at the moment I couldn't just forget about him. I just hope I didn't fall for him because if I did when all the truth will be out I will be in the same position as my mum. I will accept him for who he is no matter what. Who knows what terrible things he hides behind his reserved personality.

I was suddenly being distracted by the song that started playing. I recognized it almost immediately. It was mine and Robert's song once. I jumped out of bed and turned the music off before the pain will crawl its way into my chest and tear me down. I took my mind off of it though trying to focus on the Flavio matter and my most important matter: Uncle Boris. I have no idea how I'm going to deal with it but I'm gonna make it through it.

As I slept all day right now I couldn't find it in me to sleep some more so I grabbed a book from the nightstand a book I started reading and never finished it – The Host. I find interesting the matter treated in this book. A spirit tries to dominate a human body but he can't because the human fights it. What's even more interesting is that the hero or rather heroine because she is indeed a woman. Hah. And men always underestimate our power and this comes from someone who's a convinced feminist but I choose the middle path. I'm only a feminist in extreme cases because you know it's bad with the bad but even worse without it. Still I think that a man has to treat the woman right regardless of social status or phase in life. A woman is a woman and she should be treated with care. Even if she seems strong on the surface, that's just the mask she's hiding under. We all have a heart that can break at any word said the wrong way or a wrong gesture.

I ended my epiphany and continued reading. I managed to read almost half of it when the clock on my desk said it was four in the morning. I wasn't really asleep but I decided I should get some sleep sooner rather than later. I bookmarked the page I read last so I know where I was then put the book back on the nightstand. I closed my eyes hoping sleep will take me away soon.

The alarm clock brought me into consciousness even though I wished I could sleep some more and I was reminded that it was Monday, the beginning of a new week. I felt well rested even though I slept almost three hours. I had my every morning ritual before I headed to school. As I was on my way to the door to leave the house something caught my eye. The living room door was open and the room reeked of alcohol mixed with tobacco which was totally disgusting given the fact that it was only 7:30 in the morning. I stood there frozen for a minute just watching the disgraceful view that I could hardly distinguish in the dim light. When my eyes adjusted I could distinguish the person who was laying on the sofa. My eyes began to water because of the smoke but I continued to watch. A cheap bottle of whiskey was next to the sofa half empty under his hand and other empty bottles were scattered around the room but not too far from the sofa, the ashtray on the table was full. The curtains were drawn but not fully because a dim light could make its way into the room. I almost could not recognize my own living room. A complete mess. I moved my gaze from the details and fixed it on the being that was laying there half asleep. I couldn't see his face too well but I think my imagination could do him justice judging by the empty bottles. I entered the room furiously but trying not to make a noise yet. I didn't want to startle the monster just yet. I pushed the curtains to the side letting the sun bathe the room. I noticed from the corner of my eye as the man on the sofa moved and his eyes were having a hard time to adjust to the light. I turned around to face him angry and as much as I wanted not to scold him I just couldn't refrain myself now.

"Uncle Boris, you came here to have a roof under your head so you could try and get another job and another place to stay. Mother was kind enough to take you in but don't live under the impression you're here to stay forever. Instead of doing what you should do mister, you get drunk and lounge around! That's how you're planning to repay her?" I glared.

I was really glad she wasn't home to see all this but on the other hand maybe she should. It might open up her eyes and see things for what they are.

He cursed under his breath and then mumbled something I couldn't really understand but I got the idea. Clearly, he was nowhere near sober but even so I wasn't going to spare him the lecture. He didn't earn that. Still, I'm doing this civilly.

"Uncle…if mother can overlook some things I won't. I will have a serious discussion with mother and tell her to take care of you mister and help you get a good job so you could have a decent life. If you don't agree with me maybe I should tell her the true story of how you lost your house and your job. Maybe my mum is naïve but I'm not. I found one of the receipt from the casino where it says you paid your debt." Yes, I was blackmailing him but I knew what I was doing. Deep down he cared about mum so maybe this might touch him in a way.

He didn't answer. I must have struck a chord! I glanced at the clock and from the looks of it if I'm staying any longer I will be late and Mr. Kambert won't be too happy about it. I left the room without saying anything else, not even glancing at him. I will finish this later when I'll be back. For now he has something to reflect about and I sincerely hope he will come to his senses.

I ended up running all the way to school and I was there in time. Well, almost. Mr. Kambert was already in class and already begun his lecture. When I walked in he glared a bit and then gestured to take my place. He went on with his lecture about World War I. The way he was telling us what happened back then made us think he had been there rather than reading some facts out of a history book. It was just an impression because he wasn't that old but he had a certain charm.

The rest of the day was completely boring. In English we had to lecture some texts about future, life on other planets and how computers and internet are influencing our lives. In gym we had to warm up a bit then play basketball. Well actually my classmates did. I just sat quietly on the bench and I hoped no one will ever think of replacing his teammate with me. I really wasn't good at sports and I didn't want to become a danger for everyone around. Last but not least – French. Oh God. I felt like poking my eyes out. It passed so slow as the teacher went on and on about the benefits of having a trip in a Francophone country.

When the bell rang I sighed relieved. I thought this day will never end. I grabbed my books and put them all in the bag preparing to leave when Vivianna stopped me. She didn't say anything but she looked at me as if to ask "Where is your head today?"

I would have told her everything at least that way I could take the burden off my chest but I didn't dare. Some things you just have to keep them to yourself. So I just shook my head to let her know it's nothing and I left. When I got home and unlocked the door I notice something odd. It was locked on both locks not just one as usual. I opened it and stepped inside carefully closing it behind me. It was too quiet and too dark. I turned on the light in the hallway and made my way inside. After this morning's episode I have no idea what to expect.

"Uncle?" I shouted confused. I didn't get any answer. I searched for him in every room but he was nowhere to be found. I guess this morning's discussion had been effective after all.

I left my bag into my room and then headed for the kitchen to grab a bite but the door rang. I wonder who can it be. I checked first and on the other side of the door it was a woman in her mid forties with glasses and dressed simply. I recognized her. The administrator. I wonder what's wrong. I opened the door putting a genuine smile on my face.

"Good afternoon, miss Lockdown. What is it that I can help you with?"

"Hello, Ayanna. I just came to bring you these. A man came to leave them to me earlier. He didn't give me much details rather than the fact that his name is Boris and that I might find you home around this hour in the afternoon."

"Uh, thank you, miss Lockdown." I said confused taking the keys. "He didn't accidentally mention where he was going?"

"Unfortunately no. I'm sorry I can't be of any help."

'Oh…" I said unpleasantly surprised then sighed. "Thank you again, miss Lockdown."

Miss Lockdown left and I closed the door behind her. Weird. Why would he leave the keys to her? Oh. Suddenly the realization hit – what if he left for another poker game or whatever he didn't want to be tempted to play my mother's house. That's probable. I can't think of anything else really. Looks like he isn't as bad as I thought and he really loved mother in his own weird way.

I hid the keys because I didn't want mother to find them and ask what's with them. She probably gave them to him and she will find it suspicious if she comes across them. I didn't want her to worry in vain.

Then I went on with preparing dinner. I call it dinner because the last meal I have usually is around five but no later than six thirty. I was in the mood for Spaghetti Carbonara today for some unknown reason. I put some water to boil and then prepared the rest of the ingredients needed. Last time I ate Spaghetti Carbonara was two years ago. I sighed. Will I ever get over that big bad break-up? Right now all I can say is 'I honestly have no idea'. Maybe sometime when things will settle. I'm definitely not there yet at that moment when you come to peace with what happened and accept that past is past and there is nothing you can do about it. Maybe things don't follow the same pattern for me as they do for anyone else. I stopped over thinking it when I sliced my finger. Gah! I should really concentrate on cooking than on anything else.

It took me almost half an hour to get it all done and then stuck in. I must admit, for a beginner, it was rather tasty and I didn't make a mess in the kitchen either. Mother will be pleased. I cleaned after myself washing all the dishes I used and then putting them all where they belonged. There was nothing more to do in the kitchen so I headed into my room. I sat down at the desk and opened my laptop. For the first time in a very long time I checked my e-mails. I had about 100 if not more unread e-mail. Half were from Vivianna. I skipped most of them as all of them were about the same thing – making me feel better after Robert died. A lot of them were junk mails and I deleted most of those. There were only five unread mails from Robert, dated from before the accident with a few days when we had another silly fight and I refused to answer the phone. When I was mad at someone and thought I was right I was usually pretty stubborn but still I have no idea why I didn't read them back then. It was enough for me to open one of them to feel suddenly unstable and to start shaking for no reason. The mail contained only a few small phrases but it was full of meaning:

"I couldn't die and lose you. It would be like a bad dream from which I never woke up and it would be so real that the pain will be unbearable. If such thing happened I would do anything in my power to come back. I promise I will never leave you alone. Not for a second. Even if it passed too much time I will dig out your feelings I'm sure you'll bury deep into the mud hoping you will forget about me. Only you can't do that sweetheart because I will come back and haunt you. You will remember me and my name."

This mail probably has some sequels or whatever but I don't feel like opening the rest. I turned off my laptop and I went straight in my bed covering my teary face with a pillow. I knew that opening old wounds might cause this but I so did not see this one coming. I felt overwhelmed, a complete mess and caught into my memories. My eyes…my eyes are like a river of tears that wouldn't stop streaming down my face.

I don't know how long I stayed there and cried. I sat up with the knees to my chest hugging a pillow tightly and rocking back and forth. I don't know how much I stayed in the same position but my body was numb. I stood up and stretched hoping the numbness will be gone but it wasn't just a physical state. I felt my eyelids heavy and swollen and the tears dried on my cheeks. Besides the physical state and the signs I cried I didn't feel anything. I was numb, I wanted to be numb. I didn't want to feel anything anymore. My soul was also numb and hiding away from me what he was feeling . I felt like my entire being that co-existed inside me was in a cage. It was weird. It felt like if my inner being escaped from the cage she will tear everything up in her path like a starving animal leaving only useless garbage behind. She would have ripped my chest in two escaping the prison and leaving me there to bleed out until my body or whatever was left of it would be completely drained. Lifeless. I shuddered. I knew I shouldn't have turned my laptop on. I thought I was safe that these two years was enough and that it wouldn't hurt so much but the pain was the same.

I turned and glanced to the clock. Time went by so fast. It was already seven o'clock. I knew that if I don't find anything useful to do and fast the pain will overwhelm me again and make me incapable to do anything. I don't think I want to repeat the episode from just now. I love the one that kills me with his memory but that's so much pain I can take.

I decided to continue my reading and picked up the book I was reading last night. I sat comfortably on the bed and then picked up my book to continue my lecture.

I must have fallen asleep because next thing I know mum was shaking me demanding to know something but I didn't know what exactly. I was half asleep and not even the thud made by the book when it collided with the floor didn't make me more aware. Mother continued to shake me to make me focus and then told me with her voice unnecessarily raised:

"Ayanna, where is Boris?"

"I don't know mum. I spoke to him in the morning and he didn't seem like in the mood to go somewhere. He's been drinking all night. When I returned home from school he wasn't here so how in the world would I know? Who knows in which bar he's laying in all drunk…"I said a bit skeptical.

"Ayanna, you're being rude."My mother said very serious. "Did you say something to him that would make him leave?"

"No, at least I don't think I accused him in vain. Please don't try to blame on me the fact that he left. He's big enough to know what he's doing."

"Ugh! Ayanna, I can't have any serious discussion with you. If he doesn't return until tomorrow I will call the police to report he's missing. If something happens to him, I will never forgive you."

"Yeah, whatever, mother but I have a clear conscience." I said in a low voice. "And I think you saw the state he was in. Don't try to blame me for trying to do something about it and give him the wake up call."

My sweet mother left the room closing the door behind her maybe too hard. I sighed. I don't see how I'm responsible because his drunky brother left. She'll probably be better off without him anyway even though right now it hurts. I let myself fall back onto the pillow and try to fall asleep refusing to think of anything else.

The next two days were pretty much the same. My mother called the police to report the missing of my uncle and now we were waiting for them to do their job which probably won't be effective anyway.

I tried to be helpful and I handed her the receipt from the casino and she was completely shocked. She really didn't expect him to do something like this. Still, that receipt was very useful to the police because it gave them a lead to begin their search. They said we will hear some news today. When I got home from school I heard my mother's cry coming from the kitchen. That could only mean one thing and it is not good. I left my bag into the hallway and made my way to the kitchen. When I got there my mother was at the table with her eyes red and the mascara all over her face. There were some papers scattered on the table.

"What's going on mum? Have you heard any news from Boris?"

She didn't answer nor looked at me. The answer was more than obvious. I gathered some courage to look over the papers scattered all around the table. There was a police report saying that uncle Boris was found dead on some hidden alley not far from the casino he used to go to. He was found in a sea of blood with wounds on both his wrists. Everything pointed to suicide but they couldn't find the object that made the wounds on his wrists being it a pocket knife or a razor blade. Maybe they didn't look close enough or maybe he was so coward to piss someone off so hard to do it for him. I put the report back on the pile and sat down close to my mother hugging her and trying to comfort her. She pulled away and then looked at me for the first time since I walked into the room. She didn't say anything but the look in her eyes said it all. She considered me responsible for what happened to uncle Boris.

I stood up and walked out of the room going into my room where I locked myself in for the rest of the day. Over thinking it I also began to think that I was guilty. Maybe I should have told my mother about the keys instead of keeping it to myself. Maybe this wouldn't have happened if I did. I closed my eyes tightly and bit my lip being overwhelmed by the feeling of guilt. What if it really is my fault?

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><p><strong> Hello my lovelies. Here I am again with a new chapter of this twisted little story. Hope you like it and please review it if it's not too much to ask. <strong>

**Also if you have any questions doubts or whatever please don't hesitate to tell me about it. **

**PS. The lyrics at the top are there for a purpose and if you read carefully you see which character it describes. Everything else is to be discovered in the following chapters. **

**PS2 Happy New Year Everyone! :D **

** Much love, **

**Anne xxxx **


	8. Chapter VII

VII.

_It's like you're screaming and no one can hear._

_You almost feel ashamed that someone could be that important that without them you feel like nothing._

_No one will ever understand how much it hurts._

_You feel hopeless, like nothing can save you._

_And when it's over and it's gone…_

_You almost wish that you could have all that bad stuff back so that you could have the good._

[**Rihanna feat. Calvin Harris – We found love **]

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><p>In the days that followed till the funeral, the relationship between me and my mother was even worse than before. She still refused to talk to me and well it was obvious that my uncle's death caused her pain, the kind of pain you could hardly describe in words. Even so, she wouldn't let me do anything. Well if that was the case, I minded my own business - school. At least that left me under the impression I was being productive. Don't get me wrong, I didn't mind going to school. It will save me from all the drama. I kinda hated funerals and I was hoping that maybe, just maybe, I'll have the opportunity to keep myself away from them but death is inevitable.<p>

As for uncle Boris, I almost felt sorry for him now. I shouldn't have judged him so harshly. Still, what would make him commit suicide? I don't remember saying something to offend him, I just wanted to make him realize he was on the wrong path and mom will be hurt if she'd know. Eh, sometimes truth hurts. I can't say his death doesn't affect me in any way, but thinking it though, taking in consideration his weird lifestyle, he's better off where he is now. I am sorry that my mother is suffering though and that the whole truth came out. I am hoping that mom will someday realize it's not my fault. Maybe something from the ongoing investigation will surprise her and make her realize that her brother, my uncle wasn't a saint and that I am not responsible for what happened. I didn't make him drink until he forgot who or where he was nor waste money in the casino. Okay, maybe I did the wrong thing in hiding the fact that he left his keys home, but how could I have know he would do that? People are not predictable, not always.

Still, I can't shake the thought that maybe someone killed him. We cannot rule out that possibility. Maybe he was hiding much more than we ever though he will and we're about to find out, one way or another.

The funeral was Saturday. We kept it simple, just in the family. It was just me, my mother and some close friends. Before the funeral ended, I left. I just couldn't endure my mother's suffering. I know. I should have stayed by her side, but I wasn't in the mental state to keep her sane. Plus, I could use some time by myself. All the grieving was hitting me like a hurricane. I couldn't take it before, but ever since death ripped me in half, it was just... unbearable. Not to mention that if I went home with my mother, I'll never hear the end of it. Honestly? I didn't want to hear it. Sue me.

I knew only one place where I'll find my balance, my sanity. A place that will shield me from the storm my mind has become. Even if the rational part of me told me not to go because inevitably he'll make up his mind and tell me what he's been hiding, I still wanted to be there. Every cell from my body screamed it, craved it, no matter what consequences my presence will bring upon me or us both.

So the next thing I did was walk all the way until I'll reach my destination. It's not that far. It should be a piece of cake and I'll be there in no time. Or so I thought. God or whoever was up there tried to prevent me from reaching my goal. It's raining. Well, rather cold water is pouring from the sky, every drop feeling as heavy as a piece of metal colliding with my skin, piercing it and making me feel it right in my bones.

When I got to his house, I was soaking and shaking. The black coat of the night was covering me but not really keeping me warm since the difference between temperatures during the day and night are really noticeable. It's colder during the night. I didn't have any doubt I'll catch a cold eventually.

I pressed the button and the ringing startled me a bit. I took a deep breath as I waited for him to answer, trying to warm myself up too. I just hope he's home. After a few minutes the door opened, illuminating the path to the front door and all its surroundings. I saw him through my wet heavy lashes running towards me with an umbrella. In a matter of seconds he was by my side, had me all wrapped up in his arms trying to warm me up and shield me from the rain as we walked towards the house. He closed the door behind us. Flavio didn't say anything. Not a single word. He just made sure I was away from the cold and then he greeted me.

"Ayanna. To what do I owe your presence here on a weather like this?"

Before I could gather my words to speak something coherent, the silence of the room was filled with a loud noise like someone was playing drums but in an angry manner. The rain picked up even worse than before. I could hear the rain drops hitting the roof with the force of some meteorite falling from outer space. Added to that there was a loud noise, no, actually it was a loud scream. The sky was screaming so loud that you are left under the impression that the hole world will open in half and swallow you.

I was still shaking, even if it was warm inside. Still, I had to muster some answer for him as he was looking at me gently and questioningly.

"I..I..I...I... c-c-c-ca-me to to ta-talk", I managed to say through my teeth. I was shaking so hard I had to concentrate on not biting my tongue.

He looked at me for a moment and sighed.

"Shh, _he said, _we have to take care of you first. I'll go get you something dry for you to wear. They might be too big for you, given the fact that you're a tiny one and I am a huge animal, but at least you'll have something on you that's not dripping on the floor." He chuckled. "Well, go by the fire and warm up. I'll be quick."

He left the umbrella open in a corner of the room to dry and he left. I watched him until he couldn't be seen anymore and I started wondering. How did he know it was me? It could have been anyone. Well, maybe I was the only one that knew about his whereabouts and the only crazy one that would come visit him ignoring the weather completely.

I looked away to the living room and I studied it intensely because something seemed odd. He redecorated since the last time I was here. Flavio added another sofa, the chairs were put on either side of it and I suppose the coffee table should be somewhere in the middle. The only source of light was some laps on the wall and the fireplace. I put one foot in front of the other, making my way to the fireplace, dragging my wet clothes and leaving a trail of dirt and water behind me. Well at least I will be all warmed up and he'll pardon my mess.

Sitting there with my hands facing the fire I remembered something that I thought was long forgotten. A distant memory of a time when I was happy. When me and my mother had useless arguments I used to run to Robert's house and use it as my safe harbor. Well, one way or the other we made up when one of us dropped the guard and started to regret the hard words we said, but I still needed a place to clear mind and somehow I felt safe with him. Sheltered from all the harm. Humph. History is repeating itself huh. Only it's Flavio and not Rob the one I look for to be my shelter and I didn't come here after a fight but to prevent it. Anyways, the feeling of deja-vu was strong.

I got lost for a few moments looking at the fire dancing by its own tune. When I turned, Flavio was already in the room with some clothes in his hands, watching me. I didn't hear when he came back into the room. He's almost as subtle as a hunter with his prey, careful with every move. That gave me shivers. In his presence I have the impression that I should expect everything. Maybe the dream I had in which my father told me he's not what it seems scared me off but I don't think it's that bad. I can't imagine Flavio being some sort of supernatural creature even though he was a certain spark in his eyes I cannot define and that little spark in his eyes like the sea tells me I might be wrong.

I was completely lost in the abyss of his eyes when he cleared his throat to make me pay attention. I wonder if he was self-conscious, I mean if he knew how he made people react around him, especially of the opposite sex. It's almost like he casts a spell and everyone's under it just by looking into his eyes. A spell from a completely different world, powerful and hard to fight. Or maybe it's just me.

"I brought you some dry clothes. You can go to the bathroom and change or if you want I can step out of the room to give you privacy. One way or another, you're getting rid of those clothes. I don't want you to catch a cold. The bathroom is at the end of the hallway if you prefer that option."

I nodded and took the clothes from him. Well, at least someone is worried sick for me. I walked towards the bathroom, leaving him in the other room. I hope he won't peek at me.

I went into the bathroom, closed the door behind me and well, this was...The luxury and all. Was he some sort of lost heir from some royal family or something? He had Jacuzzi and all that. Well, maybe I'm exaggerating a bit, but it still seemed a bit too much for a house in a small town.

I looked around in amazement. The tiles on the wall were cream with gold lines and the ones on the ground were slightly darker but in the same tone, arranged like a chess board. This house is full of symbols. I shook my head then changed my clothes. I should stop behaving like this. It's a waste of time to sit and analyze every corner of this house.

After I got dressed, I looked down on myself and yes, they were way bigger for my body. Oh well. I suppose it's better than to catch a nasty cold. I looked around for a bit, not knowing what to do with my wet clothes until I just left them there on the edge of the bathtub. Even though I wasn't home somehow it felt natural for me to do that. It was like I was living there with him even though I wasn't. Or I'm just exaggerating. Again. Really now, what was I supposed to do? Take the clothes with me and make a bigger mess than I already did? Neah, doesn't seem appropriate now does it..

I just took my phone and my purse even though the purse didn't really fit anymore but oh well. I just left the bathroom not bothering with my hair. I'm a mess anyway. Quite literally so.

I was surely taking my time to go back to him. It's hard to explain why I was so... so... afraid to face him all of a sudden. Come now, Ayanna, he's not going to eat you. Not right now anyway. Oh shut it, you perv. Oh, silly me. Talking to myself now too. Great. I'm just one step away from a mental institute.

When I finally got to the living room he was all comfortable in a chair and playing with a feather. I should have focused on that, on his hands but I didn't so my mind went to other places as I examined his body. I also noticed he had a tattoo on his left arm. Some crimson flames slowly shaping themselves into a dragon. His eyes in the dim light were like a demon's eyes and the expression on his face was hard to read. I admit, I was supposed to be scared and run the hell out of the house but instead it was drawing me in. The adrenaline kicked in and well, might as well ride along with it.

I waited because I didn't want to interrupt his train of thought. Plus I quite enjoy this moment of silence, just watching him.

Just as I said that he looked at me, startling me. He analyzed me from head to toe and I was getting nervous.

"I know, I don't look at my best right now." I smiled nervously. "Your clothes are kinda too big for me, but thank you. I won't catch a cold now."

"On the contrary, I think you are beautiful."

"You're saying it because I'm wearing your clothes right?"

"Yeah," he admitted, laughing. I laughed too. "No, jokes aside, you do look good. Also, don't thank me. Being healthy is very important." He paused. " Right. Now let's get to the point." He grinned. "Why are you here?"

The words got stuck in my throat. I just couldn't find a proper answer. My mind was on stand-by. I was just so lost in his deep blue eyes and his smile wasn't comforting me. On the contrary, it was making me nervous. Oh, that tingling again. He graciously sat up and came by my side to caress my face and play with my hair while waiting for me to answer.

"Well?" He whispered right in my ear and then stepped back a bit. "Are you going to answer my question?"

"Um..." I still wasn't sure what to say so I blurted out the first thing that came in my mind. "I needed to escape my problems and I just... ran without a destination in my mind. " I lied. Somehow, I knew exactly where I wanted to go.

"I see." He said, calm and not very surprised. " Why didn't you go to a friend's house? Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to see you again but I'm just curious why you chose me."

"Well, none of my friends will understand." I said looking down. "I'm not sure you will either."

"You don't believe that. You're here so that proves it otherwise. Try me. Just tell me what's wrong."

Damn it. He had to be right. Why else would I be here if I didn't think I would find the peace I long for. Still, it wasn't a very deliberate decision to get here. I just did. Now I have to tell him everything. It will do me good too and I feel like I can trust him. I need to sit down though. He did the same thing and he was waiting for me to speak up but he wasn't rushing me. I sighed and looked at the fire, concentrating on it as I decided to break the silence that filled the room and basically spill my guts.

"My mind is a chaos and I needed somewhere to escape to. Uncle Boris died, my mother thinks it's my fault and I am still tortured by my own loss. Did you ever feel like you're destined to be with someone and that you'd do everything for that particular person even though you lost him or her?"

"Yeah, I did. The only difference is I'm scared of losing her again. But why would your mother accuse you for your uncle's death?"

"I don't have a clue. My uncle and me... we had a fight right before he left without telling anyone where he was going and she thinks I said something to make him go away. I'm sure my mother will come to her senses and realize she's wrong but not right now. In time maybe. What do you mean 'scared of losing her again'?"

"It's complicated. You wouldn't understand."

"Well, try me." I said looking at him. "I told you what was troubling me. Maybe you should do the same."

"Hmmm..." He said smiling like he expected I would say something like this. He appeared to be pondering about it . "You want to know the truth about me don't you?"

"You read my mind. I want to know a lot about you and I'm not sure why I'm so interested in you. I just... I mean what I said about the escaping thing but I also enjoy your company. Don't ask me why."

"I'm not that good at reading minds but I have a good memory and I pay attention. I'm not going to ask you for an explanation, I'm just going to enjoy your company as long as you want to stay around me. I can't help but wonder... You seem very calm and yet you say your mind's chaotic."

"Don't judge by my composure . I can hide my feelings very well but that doesn't mean I am not at war with myself. I have nightmares, visions. Mental hospital material right there." I chuckled.

He didn't answer but he wasn't giving me the impression he thought I should be locked up somewhere or that he enjoyed the joke. He also seemed to know more about it than I knew myself. Maybe he went through something similar. Still, the way he looks at me sometimes. It feels like he expects me to get up every minute and run. Nonsense. I wish he'd stop with that. He should take a hint from the fact that he makes me feel better even though I barely know him. Speaking of that, he was avoiding my question as if he was trying to prolong his minutes with me.

"So you had visions and you're still here..." He said, more to himself than to me. "Interesting."

"I'm not sure I follow." Well, this conversation was taking an unexpected turn.

"What kind of visions?" He asked, ignoring what I just said.

He seemed very interested in this by the way he expected my answer. As if it depended on my answer if he was going to tell me more about him or not. Plus, he was asking about vision like it was the most trivial thing in the world. Again, I had the feeling he knew much more than he let me know about it. Or maybe it was just curiousity.

"Well, " I paused, trying to say it in a way that would seem less crazy that the visions were all about him. "They weren't really visions. More like messages or warnings if you like. Someone was trying to warn me that there is something I am better off not knowing about you." I said and then looked at him, waiting for a negative reaction, a frown anything but he showed no emotion.

"I see. You were told to stay away from me, right?" His arrogance took me by surprise and it also scared me. He seemed to know all about it.

"Sort of. It was very inconsiderate of me to ignore the warnings wasn't it?" I teased.

"Very stupid of you even."He said. This time, the arrogance was gone. He seemed sad in a way and I didn't understand why.

I wish he would look at me but he was avoiding me like my eyes would burn him. It seems I didn't choose a very good time to joke about it. Still, I wanted to know something. I am not ready to give up on it so easily.

"Do you mind explaining why you seem to know so much about my visions and I don't?"

"I will explain everything at the right time." He sighed, still looking away from me. "What I'm about to tell you will change everything you know about life and death. I'm pretty sure you won't believe me and that you will run away from me but I think you should know even if you will deny the truth that is right in front of your eyes. I can't keep the secret anymore." He sighed again. It seemed like he wanted to say something else but he didn't. Maybe it was too soon to jump to conclusions. Uh-oh. This doesn't sound good at all.

"You say that if it is that easy for me to walk away from you." I laughed. "I don't think my opinion will change much but maybe I can understand you better."

I was trying to reassure him somehow. Maybe he will realize that I am caught in his charm and I am in too deep so I can't run that easily. Not without some mark anyway.

"Fine then. We'll see about that" He said, doubting my words. "Let's start with the beginning. Let me tell you who I really am. I would have preferred to stick to the part of the conversation that included your visions but I have to explain some things first so you can understand it better." He paused. " I don't know if you remember but I told you I know someone going by the name of Robert."

"Yes, I remember. You told me that on the night you drove me home from Red Garden." I said, blushing a bit. I also remember having my own theories about it but I kept my mouth shut and waited for him to continue."

"Well I sort of explained it the wrong way. I don't just know him, he is me. I am Robert."

My eyes widened and something inside me exploded. I felt my heart beating like a drum but I didn't seem too aware of it. His answer took me by surprise. No, more like shocked me. I needed air. I couldn't think. I couldn't process what he just told me. All the theories crushed at my feet. I spaced out, still shocked waiting for those three words to settle down. I shook my head violently as if to shake the idea out of my head. It's either I believe him or it will just wake me up. Flavio stopped me, putting his hands on either side of my head and forcing me to look at him.

"Breathe, Ayanna. Breathe." He whispered. It was the only thing he said. He was waiting for me to react, say something, anything. But my world was spinning and I certainly couldn't look him in the eyes so I pulled away from him, rejecting his touch. He took a step back but he was still sitting next to me. I didn't even realize when he got next to me so fast. I tried to ignore his presence and concentrate on getting myself together. I had to say something. I didn't want him jumping to conclusions. I closed my eyes and pinched my hand trying to wake up. Felt like a nightmare. When I opened my eyes, it was as real as it could get. So it wasn't a dream but I still couldn't believe him, even if I wanted to. It was just...impossible. Robert is dead.

"I don't believe you. I can't..." I said, my voice trembling. "No, it can't be true. If this is your way of trying to cheer me up, it's a very bad joke."

No matter how much I tried to make my mind understand, to believe him, I couldn't. I just... Impossible. He stood up and he went by the fireplace. With his back at me, he said:

"I knew you won't believe me. You never did. I came back from the dead in vain, but I'm not sorry." He turned to face me, with a sad smile on his face. "I'm glad I got to see you again. At least I kept my promise." He shrugged as if none of it mattered anyway. "I think you should better go. I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable around me. I told you want you wanted to know. It's up to you if you believe me or you don't. Listen to your heart. She knows best." He said, looking away again.

I wanted to argue with him but I didn't find it in me to do it. It wasn't in me to chicken out. I would have demanded more explanations but right now I wanted to be as far away from him as possible. It's too much for me. I needed to let it settle down. Still, even though he thought I was uncomfortable, I wasn't but maybe he was. I am the one that doesn't trust him. I want to but I can't. I stood up, looked at him, waiting for him to turn and look at me. He didn't. He just wanted me gone. As usual, he gave up too easily. I left the house without looking back.

I pulled out my phone and called for a cab. It stopped raining but it was so dark. I wonder how late it was. Would my mother be worried?

I looked at my phone and it was just past seven. Not that late but you couldn't tell. The sky was so dark as if he was upset too and how else to show it if not by hiding all of the night's beauties under a curtain of dark clouds.

The cab came and after I gave the driver the directions where to take me, I fell deep in thought. He was right. I didn't believe Robert as I don't believe Flavio now. I didn't change at all didn't I? His death didn't affect my cold heart that much as to prevent me to commit the same mistakes all over again. Still, I am overwhelmed by this strange feeling that things are changing. The world doesn't look like I it did before.

Right at that moment, something clicked. The e-mail. That bloody e-mail. 'Only you can't do that sweetheart because I will come back and haunt you.' Is this what he meant by him keeping his promise? I don't know. I really don't. Chaos. Chaos everywhere.

I feel like I'm split in two: a part of me wants to run the hell away from him and hide and the other part wants to know more about how he managed to come back. These two don't seem t be getting along too well but the second one seems to be winning the battle. Hmpf. I do believe him after all. Just like that, the barrier I put between Robert and Flavio got melted in a matter of seconds but I am too much of a coward to admit it.

I'm scared, oh, so very scared.

If Robert came back, how long will he stay with me? What if he leaves again? Will it hurt the same or I will just die and not feel a thing?

Something else clicked. That's why I always felt some sort of magnetic pull towards him. Now it all makes sense.

The car stopped and I snapped out of it. I paid and then got out of the car. I was in a hurry to get into my room. When I did, I realised that I was still wearing his clothes and I left mine at his place. I changed quickly and hid them into the closet. I don't think it was a very good idea for my mother to find them. I don't want to get myself into much more problems than I already am.

I laid down on the bed trying to keep my mind of Flavio and what I found out today. It didn't work that well. I got up and turned on my laptop. I needed to fill the silence with some music. I hit play on my playlist I created ages ago and went back to bed. The song seemed familiar and I found myself playing along:

_A warning sign__  
><em>_I missed the good part, then I realised__  
><em>_I started looking and the bubble burst__  
><em>_I started looking for excuses_

[Hmmmmm]

_A warning sign__  
><em>_It came back to haunt me, and I realised__  
><em>_That you were an island and I passed you by__  
><em>_And you were an island to discover_

[Hmmmmmm]

_When the truth is, I miss you__  
><em>_Yeah the truth is, that I miss you so__  
><em>_And I'm tired, I should not have let you go__  
><em>_So I crawl back into your open arms_

I put the song on repeat and listening the lyrics carefully I realized that it fit the situation. I did look for the truth and now I can't accept it. I don't know what to do. Should I go back to him?

* * *

><p>Hello there everyone. It's good to be back. I hope you missed me. I missed you lots.<p>

I'm sorry it got so delayed. I was busy and lazy but here's the next chapter. Hope you will read it. I do.

I'm sorry for any mistakes I made. It's 4:30 in the morning but I felt inspired.

Either if you love it or hate it, leave a review and let me know.

xoxo,

Anne.


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